icelandic national football team
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Dear Washington Post, Our National Football Team Is Not “Cuddly”
Iceland qualifying for the 2018 World Cup has captured the world’s imagination and sports writers and international audiences have been quick to jump on the salty bandwagon. But we can’t help but feel that our latest “ally” is being a bit condescending…
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England Shakes As Iceland Beckons In The World Cup
The 27 of June 2016, a day when Old Blighty copped a Blighty and feebly left Europe for the second time in a week, will live in the memory of every Englishman until he dies. And with the World Cup coming up…
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Manchester United Scout Sent To Reykjavík, Finds Out National Team Is In Qatar
The Icelandic national team has for several years made international headlines and super club Manchester United seems to be among those interested in the team. So, the club decided it should send a scout to check out Gylfi Sigurðsson and the rest…
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Roy Hodgson Has Painful Flashbacks While Enduring Icelandic Viking Clap
Húh! Yesterday, Championship team Bristol City trashed Premier League team Crystal Palace in the English Football League Cup 4-1. Playing for the victorious Robins was our very own national team’s blond battler Hörður Björgvin Magnússon. Having arrived at Ashton Gate last year,…
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Iceland Up 1 Spot In The New FIFA World Ranking!
We go marching on and on, hurrah! Hurrah! Our rise up the football ladder continues and on the latest FIFA World Ranking list Iceland climbs up one spot to number 21 in the world. This means better seeding in future tournaments, increased…
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Twitter Trolls Backstabbing Loser Turncoat Aron Jóhannsson
Oh, Aron, Aron, Aron. What did you do? You played 10 games for our under 21 team–even scored a goal! But you decided you were too good for us. That the US was the promised land were everything was fruitful and abundant.…
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See The Opulent Home Of The Icelandic National Team In Russia
Preparations are already underway for our next year’s conquest of Russia, and KSÍ has revealed where the team will stay during the tournament. The seaside resort town Gelendzhik by the Black Sea, which was turned into a spa town during the Soviet…
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Iceland Will Play In A New Jersey In The World Cup
Hold up! Before you bandwagon the fuck out of Iceland’s World Cup glory and buy the fabled red, white and blue jersey you might want to step back, as KSÍ, the Icelandic football association has announced that the team will play in…
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Pro Evolution Soccer Turns Icelandic National Team Into Creeps
As we reported last week, the Icelandic football national team will be included in the upcoming FIFA 18 game. Then it was announced that the team will also be featured in the new Pro Evolution Soccer game (Hurrah!). We at the Grapevine…
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Iceland Playable In FIFA 18
Finally, finally, finally! It only took reaching the 2014 World Cup qualifying playoffs, beating England to reach the Euro 2016 quarter finals and staying at the top of what is arguably the most difficult European qualifying group for next years World Cup…
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As The Smiting Happened: Puny Ukraine Crushed By Icelandic Einherjar
Yesterday, oh yesterday, why have you left us? It was one of those days that started by being woken up by a gentle kiss from the sweet, sweet autumn sun, and a cup of coffee chosen by Goldielocks herself–not too hot, not…
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Let The Smiting Commence: France You Are Next!
Tonight, the Icelandic female national team will take on France in their first match at the 2017 Euros in the Netherlands. What a day, what a lovely day. So, we might have played them 9 times and we might have allowed them…
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Looking Back At The Euros With Our Greatest Football Experts
One is the elder statesman of football, the other the commentator who lost his mind at the Euros. Together they review the incredible rise of the Icelandic national team—one year since Iceland beat England 2-1. Bjarni Felixson, aka Bjarni Fel, is the…
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A Stroll As Casual As Crushing Croatia
They may be our mightiest, bravest and most virile heroes, and we may worship them as gods, but Icelanders understand that even the strongest must rest—which is why our national football team can walk around Reykjavík without being harassed. Hannes Þór Halldórsson,…