Last night, police were notified of a harass of horses that were prancing about on the road Reykjanesbraut in Kópavogur. After conducting a thorough investigation of the crime scene, interviewing the suspects and contacting the owners of the horses, police were unable to establish how the steeds had escaped from their enclosure.
Halla María Þórðardóttir, the owner of the riding school Eðalhestar á Andvaravöllum told mbl.is that it was a complete mystery how the horses had escaped. The pasture is surrounded by an electric fence and there were no signs of any vandalism or tampering.
The dawn of the horse hypothesis
We at the Grapevine recently went to see “War for the Planet of the Apes” and we now fear that such a scenario is at play. Only instead of apes taking over the world, horses will. Instead of the simian flu, it will be the equestrian illness. We believe that the horses let themselves out as a first step in a cunning master plan to take over the world.
We estimate the likelihood of this playing out at around 88% and have, therefore, sent a delegation of interns under the leadership of Johanna the intern to parley with the horses.
We’ve instructed them to bring the horses an offering of apples and marshmallows, and to explain to them that they’ll need someone to comb and brush them in this brave horse world. We are perfectly aware of the dangers involved in this undertaking, but we know the interns understand the importance of the mission.
“You people are insane,” said Johanna the intern as she left to meet with the horses.
Godspeed Johanna the intern, godspeed.