From Iceland — Penises Pulled Off Picturesque Icelandic Mountain

Penises Pulled Off Picturesque Icelandic Mountain

Published July 24, 2019

Hannah Jane Cohen
Photo by
María Elíasdóttir

After being defaced but a month ago by phallus-obsessed vandals, the Icelandic mountain of Helgafell is once again clean from any dick-related drawings. Rejoice!

Yes, just this June, a group of douchebags went on Helgafell and wrote their stupid names all over it accompanied by pictures of penises. Unfortunately for the Icelandic public, the penises were quite crudely done and in no way reminiscent of the beauty of the dick-covered Sistine Chapel. No, the mountain simply resembled the deranged drawings of an edgy pre-teen—and not even a particularly artistic one.

Luckily, this weekend, reports, a ragtag group of 22 anti-dick avengers banded together and cleaned off most of the names, initials, and dick drawings by hand. To do so, they used wire brushes. “We use a simple and good method to get this off the rock face,” park ranger Óskar Sævarsson told, “and once we’re done, no marks are visible in the rock face.”

Left by itself, the graffiti would have taken up to decades to be removed naturally, so these people deserve a national holiday, or at least their likenesses painted onto an Icelandic mountain.

The Grapevine reached out to the now dick-free Helgafell mountain for comment, but it was unfortunately too stoned to talk.

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