In a twist that simultaneously improves both Eurovision and 2019 as a whole, Icelandic anti-capitalist BDSM techno performance art group Hatari have challenged Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to a wrestling match.
The statement which issued the challenge was read aloud by a spokesperson for the band, who did not want to reveal their identity, on Rás 2 radio this morning. Far from being a no-holds-barred cage match, the band are instead insisting on glíma, an Icelandic form of wrestling.
Hatari are amongst the Icelandic bands hoping to represent Iceland at Eurovision this year, which will be held in Tel Aviv, Israel.
The full statement from the band is as follows:
This is an official statement from award winning Icelandic anti-capitalist BDSM techno performers art group Hatari:
We address our statement to Benjamin Netanyahu, prime minister of Israel and chairman of the Likud national-liberal movement.
We members of Hatari hereby challenge you to a friendly match of traditional Icelandic trouser grip wrestling, or glíma. The wrestling match is to take place on Magen David Square in Tel Aviv on May 19th at the time of your choosing.
We will use traditional Icelandic trouser grip rules, illegal holds and unsportsmen-like conduct will lead to disqualifications and ensure drengskapur is upheld, a neutral UN sponsored referee will be present.
If the chosen Hatari trouser grip wrestling champion wins this fair match of glíma, members of Hatari reserve the rigths to settle within your borders establishing the first ever Hatari sponsored liberal BDSM colony on the Mediterranian coast. If prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu wins the glíma the Israeli government will be given full political and economic control of South-Icelandic Island muncipality Vestmannaeyjar. Members of Hatari will ensure the successful removal of the islands current inhabitants.
We await your swift response at our email-adress email@example.com or contact at Icelandicmusicnews.com. Which ever you or your staff prefers.
Hatrið mun sigra, hate will prevail.
Hatari will compete in the semi-finals this coming Saturday, which will be decided by a combination of public vote and expert panel. We’ll report more news on the competition as it comes.