Culture
Football
Iceland On Track To Win World Cup, Starting Tonight With Kosovo

Iceland On Track To Win World Cup, Starting Tonight With Kosovo

Photos by
Art Bicnick

Published October 9, 2017

Iceland will tonight smite the weedy minnows of Kosovo on their way to winning the World Cup 2017.

The last time the two teams met, it was a tough game. Iceland destroyed them, obviously, with the scoreline of 2-1 reflecting that we’re at least twice as good as they are. That’s just maths, people.

Crazed war psychosis

But rumour has it, that night, the Islendingar warriors struggled to flip into their trademark crackling, mighty, electric, ridiculous, epic, bloodletting berserker rage against such lowly opposition. This means the supposedly easy games are sometimes the hardest.

However, with their eyes set firmly on the tempting gleam of the World Cup trophy, and all of entrails, omens, visions and runes pointing to Iceland’s Inevitable World Cup Winning Destiny—and a home town horde screaming from the stands—reaching the psychotic fervour of berserker mode should be easy tonight.

The horror, the horror

Perhaps more of a concern than qualification is smiting Kosovo a little too hard. It’s said that several members of the England squad never fully recovered from the trauma of their Euro 2016 smiting. Wayne Rooney slinked off to Everton from Manchester United the next season, to sit on the bench, his eyes teary and bloodshot, staring into the distance and muttering “We didn’t see them coming… the drums… the horror…”

There are rumours that, to alleviate such possible outcomes tonight, Hannes Halldórsson has been instructed to, if the mood takes him, let in a sympathy goal.

And so we say: good luck, Kosovo. You may not win the match, but you can try and keep your sanity.

Of course, you can follow the goings on via the @RVKgrapevine Twitter account. We’ll be watching the omens all day, and live tweeting the match.


Culture
Football
Smite Preview: Iceland Vs Nigeria Tactics, Team News, Lineups & More

Smite Preview: Iceland Vs Nigeria Tactics, Team News, Lineups & More

by

Following the famous tussle that’s since become known as “The Arson of Argentina,” coach Heimir will be desperate to grab

Culture
Football
Why I Choose Iceland, By African Supporter Arnold Kanyangonda

Why I Choose Iceland, By African Supporter Arnold Kanyangonda

by

As Iceland prepare for their face-off with Nigeria, we asked a Kenyan Iceland supporter—sports consultant and commentator Arnold Kanyangonda—to tell

Culture
Football
#SmiteTheWorld Daily: The Berg Melts, #RúrikManía, Hannes & Alfreð Acclaim, Bugs & More

#SmiteTheWorld Daily: The Berg Melts, #RúrikManía, Hannes & Alfreð Acclaim, Bugs & More

by

TWO DAYS TO NIGERIA! Here’s the latest burning hot news from the ice-cool confines of Camp Smite. “The Berginator” muscle

Culture
Football
Well, You Asked… A World Cup Advice Special

Well, You Asked… A World Cup Advice Special

by

With the world’s attention focussed on Iceland like a more friendly version of the Eye of Sauron, we’ve been fielding

Culture
Football
#SmiteTheWorld Daily: Gylfi Out?, Bank Closes For #NGA Game, Dodgy Ads, & More

#SmiteTheWorld Daily: Gylfi Out?, Bank Closes For #NGA Game, Dodgy Ads, & More

by

It’s three days until the Nigeria game, and the horde have taken some time of for relaxation, treatment and preparation

Culture
Football
#SmiteTheWorld Daily News: “Year Of The Underdog,” An Army Of ‘Ssons, Messi & Birkir, & More

#SmiteTheWorld Daily News: “Year Of The Underdog,” An Army Of ‘Ssons, Messi & Birkir, & More

by and

The games are coming thick and fast, and with them the usual circus of World Cup rumours, theories and upsets.

Show Me More!