The idea of polyamorous relationships seems to have recently been gaining traction among young Icelanders.
In a country where “if you can think it, there is a Facebook group about it,” the polyamorous of Iceland have indeed created two online platforms to talk about their experiences. One of the Facebook groups, which is closed, counts 100 members, while the open one includes about 200.
The power of intimacy and love
The concept of polyamorous relationships is often confused with open relationships. For those who aren’t familiar with the concept, it can often come off as a cheap excuse to cheat or simply a lack of interest in the partner. This, however, is not the case. María Rós Kaldalóns, one of the administrators of the aforementioned Facebook groups, explains that this kind of relationships is not simply the opposite of monogamy.
Instead, it needs to be explained as a natural desire to form meaningful relationships with more than one person. In a nutshell, it’s not just about sex but also about emotional connection, intimacy and love. “We reject the idea that you are meant to love only one person at the time, or that you’re bound to live with only one individual,” María Rós told RÚV. “You could be married or living with your partner but also with other people. I know of such relationships here in Iceland.”
Sexuality: does it matter?
This also means that polyamorous individuals don’t necessarily subscribe to the idea of binary sexuality. María Rós explains that a high percentage of polyamorous people in Iceland are pansexual, ergo sexually attracted to people of any sex or gender, including transgender people, the androgynous or the gender fluid. However, “this has nothing to do with one’s sexuality,” María Rós adds. “We don’t really look at one’s gender as a defining factor in a relationship.”
Because polyamorous relations aren’t common, people are often confused as to what they amount to. María Rós, however, seems to rejoice at the opportunity to discuss the subject whenever she can. After all, she says, it’s only through knowledge that we eradicate prejudice.