Prime Minister Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson has been involved in multiple scandals and debates, with the most recent debates about health care and his wife’s offshore accounts in the British Virgin Islands topping the list. Citizens have been surprised with his ruthless and reckless behaviour, but no one is more surprised than Sigmundur Davíð himself.
“I’m the Prime Minister?,” a bewildered Sigmundur Davíð asked a throng of reporters gathered around his home. “That doesn’t make any sense. Who would have voted for me? I’m not joking. The last thing I remember was going to a Sailesh show in Kópavogur. The code word to snap me out of the hypnotic spell was ‘tortola.'”
Apparently this isn’t the first time this has happened. Sailesh, the magnificent hypnotist, declined an interview, but sources near him say they’ve met people years later who hadn’t been snapped out.
“This is a serious problem,” said Davíð Davíðsson, a professor in Folk Hypnotism at the University of Iceland. “I’m guessing there are hundreds, if not thousands of people in Iceland still trapped in the ‘Hypno-World.’ The problem is choosing obscure safe words.
“When in Sigmundur Davíð’s life would anyone say ‘Tortola’ to him? His wife? It’s a well established fact that they keep their work lives completely separate from each other.”
The Progressive Party’s response to the news of Sigmundur Davíð’s escape from “Hypo-World” has been uncharacteristically silent.
“There are huge gaps in my life I can’t account for,” said Sigmundur Davið. “I’m almost scared to read about what I’ve done. How could people let me run a country in that condition? Wasn’t it obvious I was a mindless drone? I wish I would have chosen ‘cake’ as my safe-word. Iceland would have been better off.”
Buy subscriptions, t-shirts and more from our shop right here!
