From Iceland — BREAKING: Arachnoid UFO Spotted Over Tjörnin

BREAKING: Arachnoid UFO Spotted Over Tjörnin

Published July 10, 2015

A UFO has been spotted hovering over Tjörnin in Downtown Reykjavík.

Initially seen on the LiveFromIceland video feed, the object has been violently pulsating up and down above the pond for what some eyewitnesses say has been “minutes”.

The object in question allegedly has spider-like qualities, with a concave, aerodynamic top, and long, thin tendrils. It appears to be moving too fast for the human eye to see clearly, presumably because human optics have not developed to a stage where we can process extraterrestrial photons. Alternative interpretations have claimed it is a rift portal, with an exact duplicate hovering above a puddle in Cardiff, Wales.

Despite the terror and calamity, downtown Reykjavík is remaining calm. Religious groups are already hailing the apparition as a sign of The Second Coming, while Area 51 truthers are standing around, arms folded, with smug looks on their faces.

Although City Hall could not be reached for comment, one duck at the scene calmly told us, “quack!”

UPDATE: Just a moment ago, the UFO began “reaching” for some of the trees using its tendrils. Its movements appear organic. A giant seabird resembling the “Fenghuang” bird of ancient Chinese legend attempted to intervene, but could not approach the object due to what one eyewitness called its “forcefield”-like qualities. Moments later, six jeeps were spotted heading down Lækjargata on the same feed – away from the invader.




UPDATE 3: The UFO has disappeared after a conference with Sigmundur Davíð in a lava field. The two communicated through 5-note melodies, while 10 cats and the last slice of delicious cake have mysteriously disappeared. Goodbye, Planet Destroyer. We hardly knew you.

UFO is gone


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