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Well, You Asked: Cocktail Sauce, Prikið, And Porn

Well, You Asked: Cocktail Sauce, Prikið, And Porn

Hannah Jane Cohen
Photos by
Art Bicnick

Published March 3, 2018

Stuck in a sticky situation? Don’t worry. We’re here.

Hey Hannah, could you make me a tutorial on achieving my tasks while working on a bar stool at Prikið?
Well, I assume you are working on some godforsaken ‘screenplay’ or ‘novel’. If that’s so, working in public is great because everyone can see your computer screen. Therefore, only open one tab and set your background to something like you photoshopped in next to Sasha Grey. Now, unless you want everyone to know you photoshop yourself into pics with porn stars, you’ll work. That said, there’s also this app called SelfControl that blocks Facebook/Reddit/Twitter/etc. for any amount of time. That could help too.

So I made out with this girl I really like in the basement of Paloma. I texted her a few days after and she told me she “needed space to think.” What do I do?
First off, ‘needing space’ is a bullshit thing to say, but the best way I can frame that mindset is this: When you’re drunk, it’s very difficult to know if you and anyone else are on the same frame of reference. i.e. You don’t know if they are as intoxicated as you. You don’t know if they like you or are just horny. You probably didn’t even plan on making out with them and you don’t know if they did either. Some people are bold and will just ask these difficult questions, but others feel more comfortable pulling away.

So this could either be a “She’s Just Not That Into You” situation or she might just be shy. You’ll never know unless you ask her. On a date. A real date. No drunk wyd texts.

Help me. How can I enjoy kokteilsósa like a native Icelander?
Stop being such a fucking pussy. It’s good.

Send your unsolvable (UNTIL NOW) problems to editor@grapevine.is.

Check out our archives for more advice. 


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