Got a burning question? In desperate need of advice? We at the Grapevine are here to help.
What happened to hardcore man bun-y hipsters?
The Icelandic climate presumably came for them. Man-bunnies are notoriously sensitive and can’t handle the cold, especially when they get wet. Maybe some good souls took pity on them, brought them home and nurtured them back to health before adopting them and giving them a good home free of record players and cinema snobbery.
How much hair is an acceptable amount to be in a shower drain? I’m confused
None. Ew. Clean your bathroom, you animal. You’re not a possum! At least, I presume you’re not. We can never be sure about our readership though. Anyway, just get on it. And don’t worry, I hear cleaning the pipes can actually be quite fun.
While cleaning my place, I discovered a long-lost library book. I legit thought I had returned it. Do I pretend I never found it and move on with my life? Or do I send it back to the library anonymously? Should I even feel this much guilt about it?
Well, I’m afraid you have no choice but to completely change your identity and leave the country. New name. New hair color. They’re onto you now. You can’t hope to escape them forever but you might be able to buy yourself some time. Don’t burn the book, but under no circumstances take it with you. Keep it secret. Keep it safe. Don’t talk to strangers. They might be undercover librarians.
Send your previously unsolvable questions to firstname.lastname@example.org for some award-winning advice.
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