I’m glad to hear you did your research on Icelandic cuisine after visiting the country. FYI, the Icelandic diet mainly consists of protein—you know, sheep’s head, fermented shark, whale meat and the like. Most Icelanders will have at least one of these delicacies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Maybe a midnight snack too. Also, as I’m sure you’re aware, the water in Iceland is some of the purest in the world, and Icelanders drink on average about seven litres (that’s almost two gallons, in American-speak) of it every day. Vikings are famous for their very strong bladders, as there were no toilet facilities on their ships. These were barbaric times, Michael, Michigan.

What Icelanders hate is any food that is loved by the rest of the world. Burgers? Fries? Doughnuts? Urgh please. Give them a steaming sheep’s head pronto.