From Iceland — Sour Grapes and Stuff

Sour Grapes and Stuff

Published November 5, 2010

Sour Grapes and Stuff

Good morning Grapevine,
Let me start by congratulating you for the great paper you have made. I came to Iceland 2 weeks ago and while i was waiting for my father in law at Keflaviks airport i got a free copy of your paper. It’s the best paper i’ve read, it has very interesting facts and i love that you are free to say what you want and how you want.
Many years ago my father was the Ambassador of Nicaragua for all Nordic countries (including Iceland) .One day he asked me if i wanted to accompaign him to your country and i asked him: “Iceland? No thank you!” Wow, that was a very stupid mistake.
Today i finished my studies in France and got married the 28th of September 2010 in Reykjavik to the most incredible icelandic girl. I cannot believe it! One day i laughed at my father when he asked me to come here and 5 years after i fell inlove with  an icelander and her country. When i was a child Geysir was for me the most extraordinary and majestic gift nature could give us and a couple days ago i was having icecream infront if it. Amazing! You have by far the most incredible and beautiful country.
Let’s get to the point. Loads of people told me that icelanders knew how to party and that nightlife was out of the ordinary. Even my wife told me that people get wild in here. So, the week end we arrived to Reykjavik, my wife and her friends had a nice party for me. They were all very cool to me and were already telling me that i had to be careful once we get Downtown because girls were the ones picking up people! I was curious. At 2am we finally made it downtown with her friends and we waited for 10 minutes infront of B5. All of her friends decided that it was time to go home and so we left. I was a little dissapointed because of the whole rumour i’ve heard of the young people here and how they party.
The next week end none of her friends wanted to go out so my father in law took my wife and i to a very nice dinner downtown. I have always been afraid of him cuz he’s a very big man! After dinner he proposed to go bar hopping and so we did(i can’t say no to him, he’s so big). Oh my God! We started at 9pm and we went to at least 10 bars including the over-rated B5. We drank many beers and had the time of my life. My father in law is the shit, i’ve never partied this much and i can tell you i’ve been to Spain or Rusia. That night we actually became friends talking about everything and nothing, we even partied with some member of the icelandic parliament who used to play for KR and have played in Anfield against Arsenal!
Grapevine, i had the time of my life and realised that i did not need any young guide but him.
Now, i know its expensive to party here so i would love to get those 12 beers and invite him to party again. Its a way for me to thank him for being such a nice person to me and also for letting me be part of his ‘circle of trust’ (Meet the Parents quote). He is still a big man but i discovered that he also has a big heart. It might be 12 beers for some people but for me its the perfect way to spend one more night together and tell him that i’m honored to be his son in law and that i will take care of his daughter. Plus if i get the beer this letter will be on the next issue so he will read what i think of him and it will just make our relationship more fun.
Thank you for your time and i encourage you to keep the tremendously good work.
The only nicaraguan guy in Iceland.

Dear Nicaraguan guy,
Thank you for your compliments, of course, but moreso for your letter. It was a most heartwarming read. It’s cool that you and your father-in-law are doing such a great job connecting, and it’s nice that you want to invite him for beers.
We are very sorry that our beer-sponsorship ended just when you won MOST AWESOME LETTER. We know it sorta sucks since you were all geared up for the beer and whatnot. And beer is pretty great.  But maybe you can hock that Xmas ornament and buy some beers for it? Or you could try and impress your mother-in-law (a worthy task if there ever was one) by giving it to her. Who knows!

I think there is a place in Reykjavik which is exclusively for people
over 40!!! I cant find it. If you know the place, please let me know.

Dear Einar,
Unfortunately, we haven’t heard of such a place, although we are sure it must exist. There’s probably no place that has a 40-year age limit, but if you bar hop a bit you’ll probably find someplace where there’s only folks over the age of forty. Let us know if you do – this is most certainly valuable information!

Dear Catharine Fulton,
I read your letter to Victor Blaer about a month late.
I have a huge boner for you.
Will you be my mother?
a stallion of the pacific southwest
p.s lead me to the revolution

Dear Stallion,
Your letter is weird for all sorts of reasons. But one thing that’s not weird about it is your love for Catharine Fulton. That girl came to us an intern, and left as a full-fledged journalist. And now she’s busy trotting all over the globe training people to be ‘media managers’ and stuff. You gotta love her. We give you that. But the rest is weird. Ew. 

hello there, my name is Jonathan or, as my friends call me, Jonny. i am now 27 and moved to Iceland around 3 years ago to live with my fiancee and have been working as a fire sealer.
this means that i would go to a building which is in the process of been built and close off any holes going through fire walls using hard wool, soft wool, paints and acrylic. All very boring too explain but it has kept myself busy and also helped bring money in.
As i´m sure you know there is now not so much building going on in Reykjavik and so there for i am now out of job, not good at all!.
Anyway, i know that this is a very long shot but i read the grapevine all the time and i was wondering what are my chances of job with you? a bit bold of me i know but as i have been brought up to believe, “if you don´t ask you don´t get.”
As you may have already guessed i am from England and so my English is, if dare say so myself, rather good.
i do not have any reporter nor writing experience to speak off but in my spare time i do write quite allot whether its song writing, poems, quotes or even just in my day to day book.
i would be more than willing to start at the very bottom and work my way up to writing for your paper and believe that i would be quite good at it as i do have a good use of words and a rather, dare i say witty sense of humour.
if nothing else could you can at least email me back either saying “please stop wasting my time” or “OK, i do have a job i think you could do.”
either one of these things would be OK to hear Hahaha. thank you so much for taking the time to read this somewhat over worded “can i have a job” letter of mine. And I hope to hear from you soon.

Dear Jonny,
Thank you for your letter. And good job on the proactiveness!
We are sorry that you’re having problems finding a job. That sucks (but a man with your spirit of outreach will certainly find something soon!). We, however, aren’t really hiring any full time staff (we barely have any full time staff, really), but we happily accept freelance contributions! If you feel like it, you can download our fancy ‘submission guidelines’ from our website, if you’re interested in submitting pitches for articles.

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