From Iceland — Sour Grapes And Stuff

Sour Grapes And Stuff

Published June 4, 2010

Sour Grapes And Stuff

Hello there,
here are some poems I thought might be of interest for your readers.
ASHLAND – ICELAND I – X were written between 00.24 and 00.54 on May 21st 2010 in Ventspils House, Ventspils, Latvia
There are different types of mountains
That you can choose from:
Blue mountains, red mountains
And white mountains.
The blue ones are distant
And do not deserve attention,
Only admiration.
They are docile.
The white ones are cool
And you can ski on them
They are dormant.
The red ones are furious
And have political attitudes
And sometimes they rage.
They were once white
Or blue
Or non-existent.
Who can blame the
Jökull its
It has been there for hundreds of years
In peace
And then one day
The whole of Iceland
Is gone totally wild
In depts
And its glaciers are
To be
(Eight more poems follow…)
So how do you spell Eyesland? Iceland?
Dear Hrafn,
thanks for the awesome one-man poetry slam!
Sorry we can’t print all your poems – they are totally long and many, and we have interviews with bands to run. But seriously, what an awesome way to spend half an hour of your night in Latvia, honouring your homeland’s ashhole through poetry. It’s certainly a nice change from all the one-sided international news reports and GEOLOGICAL LIES.
cutout in pieces
hanging like icecicles
from the edges of my desk and lurking
in secret
between pages, bookmarked
as tasty reminders
of the satiate sweetness,
the reykjavik grapevine.
Thanks for your regular poetry column. That is a rare and precious section in a newspaper.  After reading it for two weeks, however, I still have no clue about what’s happening in the poetry scene in  Reykjavik or the rest of Iceland. While entertaining, Eirikur Orn Norddahl’s (sorry, my keyboard doesn’t have the Icelandic characters) past two poetry pieces, a self-righteous rant and some reflections on sucking, could have been printed in any paper. How about some insight  into the poetry of your own place, some verses of your own, even.  If  poetry merits a column in The Reykjavik Grapevine, I’d like to know why.
Laura Candler
Dear Laura,
Wow, did all you poets get together and decide to poetry-bomb us this issue? What’s the deal? But thanks for the words, Laura.
Turn to our LAST PAGE OF CONTENT for Eiríkur Örn Norðdahl’s (see, we’ve got all those crazy letters on our keyboard – ððöæéáóúíÞÞÞ – ha!) reply. He is a far better authority on Icelandic poetry than we could ever hope (or particularly want) to be.

I have a link to a norwegian blog about: norway and iceland should be a union. i think you should read it at publish this in your dailypaper. U believe that an union would be great.
Petter Rønning
Dear Peter,
oh really, now? Should we? We went to your blog to find out why but it was all written in Norwegian. We guess you think we should learn Norwegian, eh? No way. So we tried to Google Translate your page, and it came out all ‘Translation Failed’ on us. Fucking Google Translate.
So we can’t really figure it out right now, BUT we’re guessing it runs along the same lines as the last missive y’all Norwegians used to TRICK US INTO BEING A COLONY FOR SEVEN HUNDRED FUCKING YEARS, some seven hundred years ago. Except that one probably wasn’t posted on a blog. Then again, what do we know – maybe they had blogs back then? We’ve already forgotten all about the blogs that were written in the early noughties, so it isn’t totally ludicrous to imagine that blogs written in the late 13th century would be long forgotten by now.
Anyway, in the immortal words of CSI: Miami – “Won’t get foooooooled again!”

I have just finished Bart Cameron’s Inside Reykjavik – The Grapevine Guide, it has pointed me to a place I knew only as a distant Island….I lived on Kodiak Island….a bit south in the latitudes but did have an opportunity to walk on and over the Beaufort Sea during December….so I have seen the Moon circle the sky.
Hello to you in Iceland I will say hello to Bart for you…if you ever make to the US and the state of WA…look me up, albeit I will not be able to serve putrefied shark and soured Ram’s testicles….I will be able to provide a suitable spread of surf and turf.
Phil Yaklich
Duvall, WA
Dear Phil,
thank you for your letter, and your kind words about Bart Cameron’s most excellent Grapevine Guide (which y’all should seek out and read if you haven’t already).
This whole seeing the moon circling the sky thing sounds very cool. Very few people on this overpopulated ball-o-mud have gotten to see that natural phenomenon. Hi-five yourself! And thanks for the dinner invite. Trust us, we would just as well gorge on surf and turf as rotten shark and balls. In fact, some surf and turf sounds mighty appetizing right now. Damnit, now we’re hungry!

My wife, Alicia Wilson, who played for KR in 2006 and 2007 is back in Iceland to play this season.  She travelled with our daughter Kiana Esja who is almost two years old.  I know they both will love the experience.
Unfortunaltely I was unable to travel with them this time,  I want to wish KR a great season.
Áfram KR.
Oscar E. Lopez
Dear Oscar,
that is so cool!
For y’all readers who don’t know, KR – or Knattspyrnufélag Reykjavíkur – is the oldest, most respected, most fervently hated football club in Iceland. So playing with them is really like being part of an institution. A hated institution, maybe, but an institution all the same (kind of like working at Tollstjóri or Útlendingastofnun). Too bad you couldn’t make it over here, but we’re sure the boys and girls of KR appreciate your vote of confidence.

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