Don't Ask Nanna: How To Survive Icelandic Animal Attacks - The Reykjavik Grapevine

Don’t Ask Nanna: How To Survive Icelandic Animal Attacks

Don’t Ask Nanna: How To Survive Icelandic Animal Attacks

Published March 20, 2015

Kære Nanna,

How do you survive if you meet wild animals in your country?

Tak!

A Friendly Danish Neighbour

Dear Friendly Danish Neighbour,

Please refer to this guide I have made to help you survive Icelandic animal encounters.

Hæ Nanna,

I think you’ll get a kick out of this. There is so much talk about the solar eclipse at my office, all these morons are worrying about missing it but there’s no need to worry about missing the totality of the solar eclipse because the total phase can’t be seen from Iceland. There’s only 97.5% coverage, which is nothing compared to totality.

Kv,

P.P.

Dear P.P,

What’s truly astounding is that you are blind to the totality of your dickness as its shadow creeps across the disk of everyone’s good fucking time.

Nanna

Dear Nanna,

I’m visiting in a few weeks and I’m not so keen on hiring a car, how is the bus system in Iceland? Is it manageable for someone who doesn’t speak the language? 

Best, 

Public Transporter

Dear Public Transporter,

I wouldn’t know, I’ve never taken the bus because bus people. You know who you are.

Every time I see an Icelandic bus drive past there’s always one guy towards the back smelling his palm. Ever notice that? That’s never a good sign.

No good story ends with a guy smelling his own palm on an Icelandic bus and in a country with so many strange smells, nothing good comes from you wondering what it is that he’s smelling. Is it food? Is it hand lotion?  Is it his butt?

Anyway, where would you even want to go, you eager bastard? If you’re staying in town you can walk everywhere that matters.

Best,

Nanna

 

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