Comic artist Hugleikur Dagsson has some ideas
I do not think we should prevent him from coming here. Barring people from coming here is stupid. Why make a martyr out of him? Scumbags like him are always the first ones to celebrate censorship and deportation. Because fuckwits like him like to pretend they are the true champions of freedom of speech, and use that rhetoric ad nauseam to justify the diarrhoea that flows from their throats so freely. If we deny him entry, he’ll brag about it on Twitter and probably get loads of retweets from a sad army of braindead, semen-reeking, backwards-baseball-cap-wearing humanoids. He’ll be a hero among skunks and shitheels, and this is what he wants. Let’s not do him that favour.
Anyway. I am talking about Julien Blanc, if you didn’t get that. He is kind of a motivational speaker for losers so deprived of emotional intelligence that they can’t approach women without the help of roofies or GHB. He is the budding rapist’s Jordan Belfort. Womanizer is too pretty a word for the likes of him. And now he apparently wants to come to Iceland to teach the silt of Icelandic “masculinity” to be just like him. We have no right to ban this. He can come here and make his Assdolf Hitler speech, because free speech is a thing in Iceland. And that’s why we also have the right to tell him to fuck right off when he arrives.
But, I don’t think we should even do that. I have a better plan.
I’m now speaking to the men of Iceland: It’s time we use our privilege for good. Chauvinists like this creature are almost without exception homophobic. They fear nothing more than someone treating them like they treat women.
I say we hit on Julien Blanc. Every single one of us.
If we see him in the street, we’ll give him a wink. Whistle at him. If we meet him at a bar, let’s pinch his ass. Blow him a kiss. I urge every male reporter to stroke his thighs while interviewing him. I urge every large man to tell him what a purdy mouth he has. I urge every male bartender to whisper in his ear how much they want to be inside of him.
I think this will be the funniest thing ever. Let’s not help him feel like a hero. Let’s make him feel like the one thing he most despises. Let’s make him feel like a chick.
Maybe, this will transform his visit to Iceland into an Ebenezer Scrooge-like experience. It might even make him a better man. He might run down the street, screaming, “I’m a douchebag! I’m a douchebag! And God bless us everyone!”
Or, maybe he’ll just run home and cry in his pillow. Which is funnier.
Hugleikur Dagsson is a comic artist, comedian and probably a bunch of other things, too. He has contributed to Grapevine since way back when (read some of Hugleikur’s comix HERE!), and he lives and works in Reykjavík, Iceland. SUPPORT THE ARTIST by buying merch and shit, here.
This article originally appeared on Hugleikur’s FB page, in Icelandic. We translated it, because it’s fun.