Mad scientists have done it again! Several litters of a new, genetically modified, genius breed of barking pigs have been raised and trained to be part of an elite healthcare task force. Entrusted to eradicate diseases once and for all. This pandemic was the wake up call they needed. The world shouldn’t provide certain people with so much free time that it leads them to believe that they should take up baking.
In any case, the piglets will systematically be visiting every household, from the largest condos in Reykjavik to the most charming little houses in Arneshreppur, delivering vaccines to all residents of Iceland. How, you ask? It couldn’t be simpler, your assigned wunderschwein will guide you to the closest mud pit, and have you sit all up in it. Next stick your finger in one of your nostrils, and check for clear passage. The piglet will recognise the latter as his signal to begin the vaccination process, and will then start barking. Their characteristic barking style, (something between a tired old St. Bernard and a mini-pincher exuding Wendy Williams’ confidence) also emits a rare sound wave frequency, which alters your antibodies and updates them to their latest version. Take that Zuckerberg, and Musk, and all you other brainiacs, Iceland’s brightest have created a Bluetooth vaccine, delivered to all inhabitants of the land by the cutest lil’ mailmen.
Psych! Although this swine-led utopia sounds amazing, this is just our imagination getting the best of us after reading the headline “Pigs Are Barking With Vaccination”. As always, the translation bots have taken us for a wild ride which terminates in Disappointment Town. The actual translation should have been “Pigs Are Castrated Through Vaccination”. The Icelandic word for castration is gelda, and when this word is adjusted to the right tense and case declension, it becomes geltir which is the present tense of the verb to bark, from að gelta.
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