Got a burning question? In desperate need of advice? We at the Grapevine are here to help.
What does a girl have to do to make money around here?
There’s an old phrase knocking about in the English language, supposedly first uttered by Plautus, which goes something like this: “you’ve got to spend money to make money.” That’s right, Queen! Down with budgeting. Buy every pumpkin spice latte, face mask, glittery iPhone case and “organic health snack” you can fit into your greedy little hands. Plautus made you do it. And if that doesn’t work out for you, just sell your used underwear online. It’s lucrative…apparently.
A girl I kind of know’s house burned down and everyone is posting about it. How do I grab the attention back to myself, where it belongs?
In July 2020, Demi Lovato labelled herself as queer in a social media statement mourning the death of Glee co-star Naya Rivera (Wikipedia). Ten days later she announced her engagement to boyfriend of four months Max Ehrich, and then quickly called the engagement back off again. Take inspiration from this. When everyone has drinks to cheer up this attention-seeking-wannabe, start crying hysterically about how your mother never loved you, start a rumour that you’re pregnant and get personally offended by it, then flip a table and scream about how literally two of your houses burnt down when you were little, and nobody cared about that. Then come out as queer.
Dangerops prangent sex? will it hurt baby top of his head?
No, you’re good.
Note: Due to the effect the Coronavirus is having on tourism in Iceland, it’s become increasingly difficult for the Grapevine to survive. If you enjoy our content and want to help the Grapevine’s journalists do things like eat and pay rent, please consider joining our High Five Club.
You can also check out our shop, loaded with books, apparel and other cool merch, that you can buy and have delivered right to your door.
Buy subscriptions, t-shirts and more from our shop right here!