From Iceland — Gods Of Iceland: Frigg, The Cool Mom

Gods Of Iceland: Frigg, The Cool Mom

Gods Of Iceland: Frigg, The Cool Mom

Published November 24, 2020

Photo by
Wikimedia Commons

Superpowers: An undisputed queen, ability to observe all worlds simultaneously.
Weaknesses: Really forgetful when it comes to mistletoe, an arguable need to chill.
Modern Analogue: Kris Jenner.

Meet Frigg, the ultimate Old Norse tiger mom. Enemies of her children beware. Frigg will flip a table at the PTA bake sale if you dare give her little munchkins anything other than straight As or kick them off the football team, but it’s okay because as she was a goddess, she was probably also kind of hot. A bit like June George in Mean Girls. Gather round for mocktails, girlies!

There are a few cases of Frigg flipping her shit about her children being better than everyone else, and it doesn’t always end well for her. For example, there was the time she extracted an oath from every object on Earth never to harm her super hot and perfect son Baldr, and then decided she was in a safe position to brag about him all the time. “You’re doing amazing, sweetie!” she would crow, à la momager Kris Jenner encouraging her firstborn to do a literal nude photoshoot–and the whole of Asgard would collectively groan.

Sadly, Frigg forgot to extract an oath from mistletoe, and then Loki–being a dick as usual–got some blind dude to slam dunk on Baldr with a dart made of the stuff. Then Baldr died. Momagers hereafter be warned.

Another time, she made a wager with Odin about which of their foster kids was the most adorable and amazing. Odin was all, “my fosterling Geirröth is an absolute king, and your kid Agnar fucks giants.” And then Frigg was like, “maybe Agnar does fuck giants, but at least he’s fun. Also Geirröth is a stingy loser.”

Then a load more drama happened, and the long and short of it is that Odin disguised himself as a traveller and then Frigg tricked Geirröth into torturing Odin-the-traveller for eight days straight, just to prove her point about Geirröth occasionally being a killjoy, making Agnar better by a process of elimination. Is your foster child really that great if you only have torturers to compare him to? Honestly, Frigg, we get it. Go back to baking gluten free flapjacks, why don’t you?

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