From Iceland — Beasts Of Iceland: Rats

Beasts Of Iceland: Rats

Published April 6, 2018

Beasts Of Iceland: Rats

Rats are controversial. While they are some of the most intelligent animals around, with the ability to strategise, empathise, and even feel regret, they are also disgusting ugly vermin that spread unhappiness and the black plague. Unfortunately, the great nation of Iceland is not immune to these horrifying world conquerors. Reykjavík is actually overrun by them, in greater numbers than goreötex clad tourists.

Bad ’n boujee

Icelandic rats, much like Pennywise, get around town through the Reykjavík sewage system.

Through the pipes of houses, the little intruders climb up and reek havoc on the sanity of homeowners and renters alike. The bitches are able to get all the way up to even fifth floors, so unless you have no bathroom or running water, you, my friend, are living in perpetual danger.

The biggest hotspot for the disgusting regretful rodents is Vesturbær. This is potentially because rats are bougie as hell and enjoy gourmet grocery stores and great pools. It’s unclear just how exactly rats first travelled to this cold volcanic wasteland, but since Reykjavík is a port city, they probably illegally stowawayed on some stupid boat.

Eternal fame

Unlike other iterations across the world, the rats in Reykjavík have been said to be particularly vicious. They have been known to fight people who try and fuck with them, usually children, probably because they, like Pennywise, know children are naive and slow runners. While no one has yet died in the country due to a rat bite—though there have been a few hospitalisations—there’s a first for everything. So if you’re looking for eternal fame, throwing rocks at rats might be a good route.  

To end, it’s important to mention that there is one other species of rat within the country, which you can easily identify by their scarf-wearing, latte-drinking, experimental-music-making ways. Yes, we’re referring to the equally horrifying 101 rat. Lucky for us though, they have not yet turned the sewer into an artist-run gallery, so you’re safe…for now.

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