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@rvkgrapevine

MOST AWESOME LETTER
It is ridiculous that Don Freeman gets to write in this paper. [http://www.grapevine.is/Home/ReadArticle/WHALING-IN-ICELAND] First of all, he is nothing more than a racist when it comes to Icelanders and wants to believe the worst about us. He leads his life writing badly of Iceland in all the papers, on the internet, and on his own Facebook page called Fuck off Iceland leave the whales alone http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=9242268006.
I have sometimes talked to him on the net and the thing that annoys me the most is that he has no interest that Iceland stops whaling. His interest is in attacking the country with economic sanctions and will stand over us, laughing, when the Icelandic business world collapses and we go back 50 to 80 years.
And you let these kinds of people write in your paper?
I am for writing about whale hunting but to a person like this to write about whaling is like getting Hitler to write about the Holocaust.
If people like him get to write in your paper, then I will never read the paper again and will see to it that my associates, i.e. advertisers in your paper, learn what kind of people are allowed to write in this paper.
Thanks,
Hugrún

Dear Hugrún,
Wow. We must say, this has been a most enjoyable and educational letter. We weren’t aware that Icelanders were a race, for example, or that criticising the practices of one private business constitutes outright slander of an entire nation. Nor were we aware of Don Freeman’s fiendish plot to crush the Icelandic economy. But the cherry on top would have to be invoking Hitler (although the metaphor is confusing – if Don writing about whaling is like Hitler writing about the Holocaust, does that not make Don pro-whaling, or Hitler anti-Holocaust?). Hitler classies-up any argument, no matter what anyone says. Kudos, Hugrún. You have elevated the discourse to levels normally only seen on 4chan. And for that we award you MOST AWESOME LETTER!
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Hello.
This is a completely selfish letter, written and published (I hope!) for purposes entirely of my own self-gain (again, I hope!)
Wooed by Reykjavik and her dangerously seductive nightlife last Saturday night (July 30) I managed to misplace my bright orange Panasonic Lumix DMC-TS2 digital camera whilst out (exact venues, unknown). It’s not so much the loss of the camera that upsets me (easily replaceable) but the memory card containing two weeks of Icelandic adventure, discovery and emotion. And so I am writing this letter in the vain hope that someone met my camera during it’s runaway journey that fateful night and may be kind and honest enough to return to me the memories of this extraordinary country.
I place my faith and hope in you, good people of Reykjavik.
Kay-Dee, Australia

Hay Kay Dee,
What a bummer. Hopefully one of our readers has found your bright orange Panasonic Lumix DMC-TS2 digital camera, and hopefully they also have the decency to send it to you. We’d like to think our readers would be decent enough to do that (but then that might be naive). Anyways, we hope you are at least left with some non-photographic memories from your stay (given the odds).
Peace.
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Thank you for being a good source of education, and, to be up-to-date.  At this time, here in the U.S.A., we are faced with a very serious situation, bear attacks on people.  Amongst the concerns, are polar bears that have natural habitat in the waters around the west of Alaska, that have been swimming for hundreds of miles, and showing up in unusual places doing unusual things.  To help defend us, needed is to further our understanding of bear animal behavior.
We are in times where it seems glacier melting is pushing these animals out of their normally associated setting, and into conditions they are not as well adapted to.  
Unmarked, such as by conservationists, bears that have more experience underwater could have correlations.
There is Þorvaldur Friðriksson, who has erudition of sea creatures, and am seeking to send correspondence to him, so that he can provide me with knowledge and wisdom for the cause just explained.  Does he have an e-mail, website, or method of reaching him, and if so, please send to me, as you may be permitted.
Þorvaldur Friðriksson is in an article written by Paul Fontaine, an author that writes for you.  There stands the chance that Paul Fontaine might have access to how to reach him. What is the e-mail address of Paul Fontaine, in event this is necessary?
The article is ‘Claims Sea Monster Lives In Fjord’, dated 1.7.2011, [<http://grapevine.is/News/ReadArticle/Claims-Sea-Monster-Lives-In-Fjord>] ‘Árni Kópsson told Vísir that he sent a deep sea camera into the bottom of the fjord to record what may be in one of the craters recently found there by the Marine Research Institute a few years ago. Apart from fish and shrimp, Árni says he saw something else.
“There was some kind of creature that you couldn’t see really well,” he said. “Something that was quick to make itself scarce when you got near it.
Þorvaldur Friðriksson, an expert in monsters, who accompanied the trip, says that the purpose of the investigation was to gather evidence for sea monsters in the area. Þorvaldur has collected monster stories from all over the region, which is famously rife with tales of sea monsters.’
In the foreseeable future, Þorvaldur Friðriksson would be invited to lecture those of us in the U.S. so that we can better prepare ourselves for possible interfaces with bears and these kinds of animals.  Your newspaper will receive much credit for your assistance.
There stands a high chance that polar bears are included in the animals that Þorvaldur Friðriksson covers. The 1000 page book on creatures he has prepared, may have content which would be helpful to us.
Founder of ETIS International, a company which works for betterment of the environment, we sincerely look forward to hearing from you.
Many thanks,
A, Luqman

Dear A , Luqman,
Oh, yes. We in Iceland know all about the dangers of bear landings. We also emphatically believe that this country is not doing enough to prepare for a possible monster landing. I mean sure, polar bears haven’t killed anyone in recent Icelandic history, but why take chances (and not murder them)? The same goes for sea monsters. If a polar can tear a man in half with the casual swat of his paw, there’s no telling what the much larger sea monster could do. Not to mention, those lizards.
It would be our pleasure to put you in touch with Þorvaldur Friðriksson, and we believe he may be of some assistance. Best of luck in all your preparedness endeavours.