Published June 9, 2017
Serious question here, sorry. I have this friend, we used to be very close when we were teenagers. Like sisters almost. But when I left our small town and moved to Reykjavík for university we kind of grew apart. I find we have less and less in common and when she visits me all she wants to do is party and get drunk but I got bored of that years ago. When she visits, she never pays for anything, she leaves everything really messy and never helps. Last week she said she wanted to work in Reykjavík over the summer and could we be flatmates? I do NOT want to be her flatmate. I don’t want her at my place, in my space (it’s basically just a room, not even a real flat).
What do I do? I don’t really want to be her friend anymore.
Fed Up Frenemy
Hi Fed Up Frenemy,
There are a number of ways to alienate people. You could watch ‘House of Cards’ on Netflix without them, even after you promised you’d wait until they got home, then tell them all the spoilers. You could fuck her dad, I bet that’d piss her off.
Or you could just ghost her. That’s what I’d do. Make up excuses, tell her your landlord won’t let you sublet and regularly drops in to say hi. You tell her you’re busy and can’t go out and do XYZ until eventually, she gets the fucking hint.
And if she doesn’t and she confronts you to say, “Hey, what’s the deal, why aren’t you letting me take advantage of you under the guise of friendship anymore?” you can tell her you’ve just been super busy, why not pencil in brunch? Then cancel that brunch and continue ghosting her until she just gets bored and gives up.
Does Iceland still killing whales?
I don’t want to get caught up in semantics but what with Iceland being a country, a geographical land mass, it is not capable of the complex thought process required to commit whale murder.
Legends abound about how expensive Iceland is. Can you recommend a way for me to save money?
Hey Money Manager,
You could try not eating. Or maybe you could skip the hotel and just live on the streets until you leave? Here’s an idea, you could save the bus fare from the airport and just walk into Reykjavík.