In other parts of the world, lonely people flock to Craigslist. A quick scan of the New York City personals board sees posts begging for sex, advertising “sensual massages,” and offering $50 to rub your feet. $50!
Unfortunately though, Craigslist never really took hold in Iceland. Perhaps it was a result of bad marketing, or maybe there’s some saga villain named Craig. We don’t know. That said, a number of Facebook groups have sprung up to fulfill certain basic needs. While there are—obviously—more NSFW groups, we’re choosing to focus on the most delightfully innocent one: Kúrufélaga grúbban.
“Kúrufélaga grúbban” translates to “Cuddle Buddy Group.” The group has around 8,500 cuddly members, which is almost 3% of Iceland’s population. Yes, 3%. While the original idea of Kúrufé laga grúbban was, I suppose, to find someone to cuddle with, nowadays it is half personal ads for chatting/friendship/romance and half memes, videos, and polls revolving around sex and relationships.
For instance, right now the top post is a meme showing lovable cartoon aardvark Arthur engaged in doggystyle with his elementary school classmate Francine the orangutan. As you can imagine, it is disturbing. Above and below the Rule 34 coitus is the caption: “Post a picture of yourself and underneath people will comment whether they would smash or pass on you. If you like the comment that means you would allow them to smash you.” At the moment there are 161 comments with a plethora of selfies, both real and fake, looking for smash or pass approval. Happily, 99% of the pictures got a number of “Smash!” comments, which should make you feel hopeful for your own romantic prospects. As they say, “There is a lid for every pot.”
While we at the Grapevine desperately tried to get an intern to post on the group looking for a cuddle buddy, no one volunteered. Two of them said they were “in a relationship” while the other one said she “doesn’t like to cuddle.” That’s right—but who doesn’t like to cuddle? If that was a real thing, why would 3% of Iceland’s population be in a cuddle buddy group? Yes, it’s fishy, so if you have any thoughts on this matter, please e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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