From Iceland — Well You Asked: How to Plan A Coup

Well You Asked: How to Plan A Coup

Well You Asked: How to Plan A Coup

Published January 16, 2021

Valur Grettisson
Photo by
Wikimedia Commons

So, I’m really inspired by the coup thing in the US, but I live in Iceland. How exactly would one plan a coup in Reykjavík, I mean, does anyone even have to use a gun to take power? Best, David.

I’m so glad that you asked, David. I’ve been thinking about this myself. You just need to get the president, prime minister and the leaders of the coalition and the chairman of the supreme court to take an elevator at the same time, then get it stuck. This has actually happened once before and no one ruled the country for an hour. So the moment they get stuck, we would send a press release, informing the puny nation of the Icelandic slaves that they have a new king/God/Tzar. Then we would barricade ourselves inside the parliament and hope no one throws us out or ask us politely to leave the parameters. (You are white, right?) Simple. I’ll find the elevator, you draft the statement.

I’m thinking of quitting social media. Convince me otherwise.

Well, first of all, think about Mark Zuckerberg’s kids. How are they gonna feel about you leaving their father without even saying goodbye? Second of all, think about all of the people that will not get the chance to listen to your hot takes on the current issue? How will they get throughout the day without being inspired by your deep, intellectual thoughts on the world’s problems? And finally, what about us?! How are we gonna reach you? Please email your phone number at least!

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