Got a burning question? In desperate need of advice? We at the Grapevine are here to help.
My roots are growing out. Should I go over my roots again, let them grow out, and eventually do my hair like ombre or should I dye it a completely new colour?
Listen here: 2020 is the year of the abrupt ombre, so let your roots grow until your hair is two distinct colours. If that goes wrong—but really, how could it?—opt for the classic Sinead O’Connor look. Both of these options are fool-proof ways to ensure that your friends make a separate group chat called “Should we say something?” Don’t worry, they won’t!
Should I sleep with my ex? I feel like they’ve finally changed and this time it will really work out.
You know what, you should. Self-sabotage is an important part of character development. Also, it will give the world more of your great and soulful Twitter poetry. (We miss Tumblr too btw.)
At a dinner party where everyone brings an item of food, who’s supposed to do the dishes?
Here’s an idea: Bring your own dishes and cutlery to eat off of. Then, at the end of the meal, take it back with you. No dish, no go. “Oh Jón you forgot a plate? Good luck eating that lamb soup directly from your hand, you fucking loser.”
How do I get a vegan chick, that only dates vegan dudes, to date me—a carnivore—without becoming some loser vegan snowflake?
If you really want to honour your lust for this vegan queen and simultaneously celebrate your unbendable carnivorism, you should offer your body as a sacrifice for her witches group to share under a full moon. It’s the only way you’ll be inside her.
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