Published January 27, 2017
I started dating this girl who doesn’t like body hair. I don’t really have a preference one way or the other but I can’t really be bothered to shave. It’s cold and dark and I’m just too lazy.
Hey Vanilla Gorilla,
It’s dangerous to set precedents for romantic partners. They’ll come to expect you can uphold certain standards.
I think we both know that the chances are if you’re too lazy to shave while the relationship is new then time will not stoke the flames of effort. If anything you will become more heinous as time passes. So best just quit while you’re ahead.
Shit has really hit the fan across the pond in the United States with the inauguration of Trump. Do you know someone whose couch I can sleep on, or a comfy cave I can live in?
I’m afraid you have to stay in America and actually be an instrument of change. If you promise to harass your congressional reps and senators, use your vote for good in local as well as national elections, rally around Standing Rock, speak up for Muslims, walk alongside BLM activists, fight for women and LGBTQ rights then I will personally find a couch for you to sleep in on during a well-deserved holiday break in Iceland. Swearsies.
I recently decided to stop drinking and have realised that everything revolves around drinking. Every social occasion, every hangout, everything. My friends also seem really stressed out by my sobriety when we’re out. Like my not drinking is suspicious somehow. What should I do?
Welcome to low-key adulthood, where you are allowed to stop caring what other people think about your life choices. Before you lies a land of Netflix marathons, semi-responsible pet ownership, occasional veganism, hobby gardening and book reading. Chill out and show your friends good sobriety can be.