All questions are stupid if you ask us.
I’m coming to Iceland at the end of September, how will the weather be?
Ah a weather forecast, the most useless thing in Iceland. The only certain forecast is there is a 100% chance you will endure all conditions. You should expect rain, cold, wind, sun, (minimal) heat—to be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if actual cats and dogs started falling from the sky. Supposedly the average temperature is about 8.5°C, but averages mean nothing in Iceland. Your best bet is to ignore what the forecast says (it will be wrong) and wear more layers than you think necessary.
How long will the new volcano last?
Call me a psychic, but I think the new volcano will last until August 22, 2022. I know my prediction has mind-boggling accuracy, but what can I say, maybe my true calling is to be a volcanologist. Sadly for all volcano-enthusiasts, Fagradalsfjall got annoyed with all of the stupid people making dumb decisions near her, so she gave up. But don’t be too upset that you missed her, scientists think this is only the start of more volcanic activity.
RIP Fagradalsfjall 22/08/2022.
Swimming in lava will kill me, but it would be a pretty cool legacy to leave behind. Is it worth it?
You might make a few news headlines with this stunt, but it might not be the smartest or most comfortable way to go out. Lava’s temperature is around 1,170°C, making for what we’d assume to be a rather painful scorching. Also, the search and rescue teams are already overwhelmed dealing with other dumb dumbs making stupid choices and this stunt would definitley only make their day more difficult. I’d suggest you just set up a green screen and make your own home movie of swimming in lava; you’ll be free of burns and the search and rescue team would have an easier day. Who knows, this might launch your film career.
Got a burning question that needs answering? We give absolutely terrible advice, but since you keep asking, we’ll keep answering. Email ’em in to firstname.lastname@example.org
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