From Iceland — Well, You Asked: The Tree Of Sadness

Well, You Asked: The Tree Of Sadness

Well, You Asked: The Tree Of Sadness

Published November 16, 2018

Hannah Jane Cohen
Photo by
Art Bicnick

I hate people that like Terrence Malick movies. Are they all idiots or am I the idiot?

Ok, imagine it’s your last day on Earth. You have a choice between watching ‘The Tree Of Life’ or ‘Love Actually.’ Don’t fucking lie to us—you’d pick ‘Love Actually.’ Terrence Malick movies are one of those things you talk about at dinner parties before you go home and binge ‘Game Of Thrones.’ You gotta see it to keep your status in society, but, gun to the head, you’d probably skip a second viewing of ‘The Thin Red Line.’ So, in conclusion, you are woke af. Terrence Malick is boring.

Is it as healthy being single as people say?

Good question. This depends on how bitter you are. If you are one of those people that calls their exes ‘crazy bitches’ or harbours unrequited love for someone that clearly didn’t give a shit about you, perhaps it’s not healthy for you to be single. You probably cry yourself to sleep to the point of dehydration. That said, it’s probably healthier for the world that you’re single because you’re crazy. What a Catch 22.

But, real talk, it’s been scientifically proven that loneliness kills you. So it’s probably best if you go read some Harry Potter erotica and cry about your impending death all due to the fact that no one loves you. I can’t relate. I’m in a relationship.

What is the easiest way to not get Chlamydia in Reykjavík?

Already have Chlamydia.

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