Culture
Football
#SmiteTheWorld: Men’s National Football Team Invades Indonesia

#SmiteTheWorld: Men’s National Football Team Invades Indonesia

Photos by
Art Bicnick

Published January 9, 2018

Iceland’s raging, monstrous army of murderous footballing warlords will decimate Indonesia this week in a daring raid on the 286m-strong nation.

The two “friendlies” will be played against the Indonesian national team, and a “best XI selection.” It is rumoured that the best XI will include a backline of nine Javan Rhinoceroses, with an elephant in goal and a Sumateran Tiger up top.

Marsal Masita, Football Association of Indonesia’s (PSSI) deputy secretary-general for business development, has reportedly expressed abject terror at the idea of fielding his best young players against the horde. “Iceland’s visit will be an opportunity for Indonesian football,” he said, sweating profusely and quaking with fear. “We can learn a lot from them and we will also hold youth and coaching sessions with the Iceland team.”

The Iceland team trained for the coming onslaught yesterday in a secret siege camp. It is rumoured that a sizeable area of forest was destroyed completely when the practice session snowballed into a furious bout of sparring that felled trees and flattened both flora and fauna.

The games take place in January 11 and 14, and will be shown for free on the Cujoo streaming platform here. You can, of course, follow our live commentary on Twitter.


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