A Grapevine service announcement BREAKING NEWS! Small Eruption Reported Northeast Of Bárðarbunga
Culture
Food
No, No, No Green Giant

No, No, No Green Giant

Published March 16, 2010

A new offering from the owners of Rizzo Pizzeria, Græni Risinn, is rather unremarkable from the outside: a typical Skeifan strip-mall with the establishment’s name marking the building’s façade in bright green lettering. This is a complete disconnect from what patrons are faced with once they’ve made it through the front doors—glossy black walls, blood-red banquette seating along the far wall and six flat-screen televisions broadcasting the music video’s du jour on Nova TV in unison.
While the décor hints that this little eatery fancies itself a nightclub, the menu is all about health. The menu boasts that all the dishes on offer are free of MSG and other flavour enhancing additives and lists such items as salad, wraps, burgers (either vegetarian or chicken—no beef), healthy pizzas and a tandoori and grilled menu.
Looking for something warm and flavourful, I gravitated to the tandoori menu, settling on the Tandoori Chicken on a Spear (1470 ISK), which comes with the soup of the day. Upon asking the cashier what the soup of the day was, he cartoonishly scratched his head, shrugged his shoulders and directed me to the sign by the door to check for myself. It was Persian Vegetable. My date chose a Jordanian Wrap (890 ISK) and the soup of the day (200 ISK when added to a meal, 430 ISK when bought alone).
Then we waited. We watched the music videos on a flat-screen of our choosing, taking in the visuals of Justin Bieber and Rammstein without being able to hear the audio over the chatter of the packed space. We sipped our beverages and read their respective labels—apparently “if it matters [I should] MAX it.™” We mused about how the soup of the day being titled “Persian Vegetable” implies that the Persians consider chicken a vegetable, as the main component floating in the watery and bland broth was chicken meat. Then we began to question how a wrap and a chicken dish could be taking more than a half hour to prepare.
When the food finally arrived it looked promising. The Jordanian Wrap was massive and the Tandoori Chicken, grilled veggies, rice and salad filled the sizeable plate placed in front of me. The promise of the meal withered away and soon became slight disappointment upon discovery that my “tandoori” chicken lacked any flavour or spice and tasted only of blackening from being cooked over a flame grill. The same blackened flavour dominated the grilled vegetables, and the wild rice tasted as though it had been placed on my plate a half hour earlier when my order was first placed and was left to dry out while the other components of the dish were tediously prepared. The saving grace of the dish was the fresh yogurt sauce, in which I dipped my chicken, vegetables and, in haste, even my dry rice. However, once the sauce was depleted, so was my patience for the meal.
My date was less disappointed by his Jordanian Wrap, though the bulk of it was shredded iceberg lettuce and neither of us could understand what made the dish “Jordanian” as it lacked any of the nation’s classic culinary staples—hummus, tabouleh, cinnamon, nutmeg, etc. Plus it wasn’t so much a wrap as a loose fold, which spilled its contents when lifted to be eaten. My date’s telling verdict was a neutral “it’s nothing special.”

  • Address: Vatnagörðum 20
  • What we think: Healthy doesn’t have to be so boring.
  • Flavour: Blackened and bland.
  • Ambiance: Wannabe nightclub.
  • Service: Unhelpful and slow.
  • Rating: 2/5


Culture
Food
<?php the_title(); ?>

New Nordic Cuisine Is Dead

by

My lifelong hatred of dill makes me a terrible champion of New Nordic cuisine. At age seven I swore to my mom I would try my best to eradicate the herb—and now I find myself in a restaurant named after that noxious weed. My skin may be the colour of cauliflower soup, but my taste buds are bulgur brown. It hasn’t helped that the Icelandic food scene has mostly embraced the parts of New Nordic cuisine that suited our aims (reaffirming patriotism and separating tourists from their money) but left out the tricky bits, like carefully sourcing and foraging your

Culture
Food
<?php the_title(); ?>

The Icelandic Restaurant Name Listicle

by

Before you can name your child in Iceland, you have to run the name by the highly conservative Icelandic Naming Committee. But that’s where the micromanaging stops. You can name your farm Saurbær (“Shitville”), name your horse Hátíð (“Festival”), and name your streets Barmahlíð (“Bosom Hill”) or Völundarhús (“Labyrinth”). Bar and restaurant names are no exception. Here’s an easy-to-digest overview of some of the best and worst of Icelandic restaurant names, inspired by a Buzzfeed listicle we read called “Top 5 Reasons For Top 5 Lists.” Top 5 Questionable Bar/Restaurant Names 5. Harlem It’s closed now, and it was good

Culture
Food
<?php the_title(); ?>

Virus In Imported Meat Might Alter Nation’s Behavior, Warns PM

by

According to Prime Minister Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson, a virus that may change people’s behavioral patterns is common among most of the world’s populations, except Iceland, Norway, and, ‘remarkably’, the UK. Sigmundur Davíð admits that this does indeed sound like science fiction, adding ‘but …’, seemingly to imply that reality may prove stranger than fiction. He indicated that this should be kept in mind when shaping agricultural policy, emphasizing as ‘extremely important’ that ‘we remain free of all sorts of infections which are, unfortunately, all to common in very many places’. ‘Might Be Changing The Behavior Of Whole Nations’ ‘Because this

Culture
Food
<?php the_title(); ?>

Grilled Meat In The Summer Rain

by

Kol was somewhat of a puzzle to me: a restaurant that opened its doors early this year to some acclaim, but hasn’t yet reached its full commercial potential—or so I thought. My companion and I graced Kol with our presence on a busy Friday evening. Every seat was filled with people who seemed ready to put the endless summer rain out of their minds by consuming grilled food… and cocktails. Lots of cocktails. Kol is brilliantly situated near the top of Skólavörðustígur, a short distance from Hallgrímskirkja church. The place is designed pretty much like every other new eating establishment

Culture
Food
<?php the_title(); ?>

Great Grandma’s Recipe, With a Kick

by

Sceptics of Jungian psychology take note: the collective unconscious is most certainly A Thing here in Iceland. How’s that, you wonder? There are lots of good examples, such as the quickly passé, but briefly passionate fad for Tex-Mex-themed confirmation parties. But more to the point, consider the emergence of Reykjavík’s food truck culture. Less than six months ago, it didn’t really exist in Iceland. And then, practically overnight, a handful of carts suddenly blossomed around town, with two of them selling kjötsúpa, or Icelandic meat soup, as their premier item. Having opened in May (slightly beforeits kjötsúpa-serving cousinSúpuvagninn), Farmer’s Soup

Culture
Food
<?php the_title(); ?>

ATTN! Brennivín Models Wanted!

by

Iceland’s signature spirit needs you! They’re looking for six models, aspiring models, or people who just like to have their picture taken, ages 18-35, for a photo shoot at a downtown Reykjavik bar, this coming Monday July 7. In return, you will get a Brennivín t-shirt, lunch and a beer….and you’ll be featured on the Brennivin.com website. You can send a pic and a little about yourself to: info@brennivinamerica.com    

Show Me More!