“Everyone has these fucked up burgers now,” says one Grapevine panellist. “Where can you just get a proper burger?” Come to think of it, we have no idea. Suffice to say that while the burgers at Roadhouse (“a hilarious place to find yourself”) are far from “proper,” they are pretty damn close to Awesome—or, like, Totally Horrifying, but that’s kind of the same thing, right? Case in point: The Empire State, a double burger whose patties have been rent asunder by a fried egg, onion rings, bacon, jalapeños, several sauces, and…wait for it…a grilled cheese sandwich. Yes, you read that right. There is a second friggin’ sandwich lodged in the middle of this burger. “The first bite is amazing,” says our resident competitive eater, “and the last bite is terrible. At what point do you like yourself in this process?” SPOILER: at no point while eating this burger will you like yourself. But, should you choose to accept this mission and complete it (mostly) unscathed, your sweat will undoubtedly smell of meat for at least 72 hours, which has got to count for something.

Photo by Axel Sigurðarson

2013: Hamborgarafabrikkan’s Christmas burger
2012: Vitabar’s ‘Forget-me-not’
2011: Vitabar
2010: Hamborgarafabrikkan
2009: Vitabar

Photo by Axel Sigurðarson