Words by

Nanna Árnadóttir

@nannaarnadottir

Photo by

RMM

Dear Nanna,

I would like to visit from Canada. What items should I bring along that I can’t get in Iceland?

Cheers,

Travelocity

Dear Travelocity,

If at all possible bring lots of smoked lamb, a few bottles of cod fish liver oil, as many woollen jumpers as you can fit in your suitcase and CD’s filled with moody ethereal electro music.

Enjoy your trip!

Nanna

Dear Nanna,

So I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months and it’s going really well except that he’s really into his cats (what is it about Icelandic guys and their cats anyway?). He has four and he’s totally devoted to them. A lot of the time that would otherwise go on developing our relationship is spent on them and I think that’s sort of unfair. Would it be selfish to ask him to choose between me and the cats? Or at least get rid of one or two, four is too many, right?

Love your column,

Cat’s Meow

Dear Cat’s Meow,

Yeah, I’m baffled too, why would anyone capable of human emotion choose their beloved pet companions of many years over a few months with you? No seriously, you’re lucky this is anonymous because you’re literally the worst human being on the planet.

Say hi to Satan for me when you see him in hell,

Nanna

Dear Nanna,

What are some of the qualifications that you have to write a bad advice column?

Fry

Dear Fry,

Qualifications? Are you some kind of truther? YOU CAN’T PROVE ANYTHING.

Nanna (if that even is my real name)

Got a question for me about Iceland or need some bad life advice? Use the hashtag #DontAskNanna, tweet me on @NannaArnadottir or email nanna.arnadottir(at)gmail.com and you might get an answer next Friday or not, whatever, I’m pretty busy eating pizza and massaging my cat’s butt.