From Iceland — Don't Ask Nanna: About The Katla Volcano

Don’t Ask Nanna: About The Katla Volcano

Published September 2, 2016

Don’t Ask Nanna: About The Katla Volcano

Dear Nanna, 

So, is Katla gonna blow? 

Vulcan

Hey Vulcan,

Let’s just say, in my professional opinion as a bad advice columnist, that the Katla volcano will definitely erupt, unleashing upon the world a tide of molten lava so violent it induces a ten year winter of cold darkness, an endless flutter of at-first fat flakes of ash coating the earth like a bleak blanket of snow, then a finer ash that coats the lungs and chokes livestock and humans alike, reaping from this earth millions of lives. Travel will cease, production, agriculture, life will grind to a painful halt and only those with the fortitude of will and a stamina for cannibalism will survive to rebuild a new society from the remains of the last.

Nanna

nanna, 

quick stupid (ignorant) question. why is grapevine team so multicultural?

a.i. 

Hi A.I,

I don’t have a funny answer to this question. There’s mostly straight white dudes in the Grapevine office. That said, I think the folks of the Grapevine make an effort to stay woke and cover a myriad of social issues by passionate writers but every media outlet in Iceland, including ours, could do much, much better where diversity is concerned.

Not only because it introduces much-needed narratives into the national discourse but also because in order for the public’s best interests to be served by media, an intersection of the fucking public has be present to report the news.

Nanna

Dear Nanna, 

I’m seeing, well okay, I’m sleeping with this girl and I really, really don’t like her as a person. But the sex is like, whoa. She’s just, like a really really horrible person. Do I have to stop seeing her just because she’s kind of unbearable? 

Feeling Gross But It’s Kind of Hot I Dunno

Dear Feeling Gross But It’s Kind of Hot I Dunno,

If you feel okay sleeping with a white supremacist/brothel madam/serial killer/ barbed compliment giver/Train fangirl – or whatever this terrible girl is, then by all means, go forth and fornicate. If not, then don’t set yourself on fire. Wait what? No, yes, that’s definitely the advice I wanted to give. Don’t set yourself on fire.

Nanna

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Enough. Stop. Now.

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