Culture
Match Review: LET ENGLAND SHAKE—#ISL Euro Conquest Continues

Match Review: LET ENGLAND SHAKE—#ISL Euro Conquest Continues

Words by
Photos by
Isaac Würman

Published June 29, 2016

So.

It happened.

We did it.

BREXIT 2 is no longer just a funny meme. It’s… reality? Actually, we’re not sure if this is real, or a Matrix-like virtual dreamland Valhalla.

Here’s what went down, told on our Twitter.

Wikinger-Alarm-in-Ahlen-Cardiff-City-mit-Islands-Kapitaen-Aron-Gunnarsson-im-Anmarsch_image_630_420f_wn

The day of the match dawned ominously for England.

England were filled with pensive melancholy at their imminent smiting.

The day wore on. Hodgson started working on his resignation speech.

It was the game of the Iceland players’ lives.

They were scared of what was to come: would Gylfi release his hound?

The wait was unbearable.

After much nerve jangling, the whistle blew.

From the outset, we were battling more that just the English team: they got a bullshit penalty right off the bat.

It slipped by Hannes. But we didn’t care.

Within minutes: we were BACK IN IT!

A beautiful goal from a flowing passing move.

England seemed… fragile. Too much Brexit? Too soon?

ICELAND STRUCK AGAIN! (At this point we may have gotten a bit excited.)

BREXIT2 was well underway, and we just kept attacking…

We edged closer to early-onset carpal tunnel from fast-tweeting.

Walker threw himself to the ground because Gylfi was near him.

Half time! 2-1. Bring it home, boys (in this case, obviously: Valhalla).

There will be sagas written about Ragnar Sigurðsson’s attempted bicycle kick.

We love the sound of smiting in the early-to-mid evening.

Vikings don’t know fear. But we appreciate a worthy opponent.

Iceland fans were winning the battle of the chants.

An England player narrowly evaded destruction.

Iceland weren’t just holding on. They were dominating.

Shit got tense.

Iceland’s champion, Aron Gunnarsson, got through on goal and shot narrowly wide.

It was a miracle we could form coherent Tweets at this point in the game.

And then. It happened.

And the crowd went wild! Or, you know, in the case of Iceland, celebrated in a lively way while remaining respectful to their surroundings.

Even fans of the millionaire man-boys conceded.

Goliath had fallen.

Lars: you’re a badass.

One quick analysis of Iceland’s success, written through tears.

Look at this. Just beautiful.

England supporters asked us for advice.

The BBC liked our analysis…

BUT NOW… WHAT’S NEXT?

We’re coming for you, France.

Also read: Match Preview: BREXIT2—The Smiting

Also Read: We Spoke To Iceland’s New President About His Experience At The #ENGISL Game

Also Read: What Was The Commentator Who Lost His Mind Actually Saying?

Also Read: Iceland’s Path To Certain Victory At Euro 2016

Also Read: In Depth—”Football On The Edge Of The World: Icelandic Football Comes Of Age”


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