Well, You Asked: This Town Ain’t Big Enough

The Grapevine’s Best and Brightest Answer Your Most Pressing Questions

Why is some public water in Reykjavik so full of a sulphuric smell & taste? While literally water just across the street is delicious?

Obviously it has to do with your proximity to hell and the occasional demon that’s doing its job in the public sphere getting in contact with the nearest tap. It’s not like they can help it though, so be nice about it. Temperature is also a good indicator. Remember: hot as hell – eggy smell. Cold as ice – tastes real nice! Now get in the hot tub with Beelzebub!

When will the shops provide parking spots for horses?

Weeeell, Ah reckon it’s haaigh time that them fellas make room for our mighty steeds again so Ah can ride in all classy with mah boots and mah hat on. Just about had it with all o’ them hopps and zolos lyin round like a bunch o’ no good crow bait while them big bugs and whippersnappers ride their friggin jeeps into town, big as bulldozers and slow as molasses in January. S’ppose you’d have ta fight like Kilkenny Cats to fix that flint without too much fiddle faddle though.

Why do Icelanders (namely Isavia) hate trees?

Shit long-term urban planning, in my opinion. If you take a closer look at the city layout of Reykjavík and how it’s developed over the last century, you see a throughline of not-accounting for an almost exponential growth in population and what looks like an attitude of just building wherever there’s space left. Add to that the urge to keep military leftovers and that it wasn’t expected that the trees would grow as high as they did (*my forehead hurts) and you get more short-term approaches to long-term problems. Hence, an airport downtown and a grab for the chainsaws. *Sigh* Has Dr. Seuss taught you nothing? Do I need to get Danny DeVito??!!