Match Review: LET ENGLAND SHAKE—#ISL Euro Conquest Continues

So.

It happened.

We did it.

BREXIT 2 is no longer just a funny meme. It’s… reality? Actually, we’re not sure if this is real, or a Matrix-like virtual dreamland Valhalla.

Here’s what went down, told on our Twitter.

The day of the match dawned ominously for England.

A glacial chill passes over the #ENG countryside. The sky darkens, the earth rumbles. The time of reckoning approaches. #ICELANDSMITES #ISL

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

England were filled with pensive melancholy at their imminent smiting.

#Sterling is getting dressed. He stubs his toe. He feels happy. It's nice to feel his foot successfully connect with something. #ENGISL #ISL

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

#Rooney is eating cereal. He feels sad. "How is it," he thinks, "that Birkir maintains such golden, flowing locks?" He pushes the bowl away.

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

"Would you like ice with that?" asks the waitress.
"No," replies Joe Hart.
A bead of sweat runs down his forehead.#ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Cahill leaps to his feet, glimpsing a horned figure in a mirror.
"What is it?" cries Sturridge.
"Nothing," says Cahill.
But Sturridge knows.

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Hodgson finishes his morning tea.
He looks into the cup.
DOOM, spell the leftover leaves.
He picks up his keycard, stands, and walks away.

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Jordan Henderson is on his bed.
He rubs his #ENG shirt frantically.
He doesn't want his teammates to see his tears.#ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

The day wore on. Hodgson started working on his resignation speech.

Hodgson eats lunch, alone in the dressing room.
"How did it come to this?" he asks himself, silently.
"Doom at the hands of a viking horde!"

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

It was the game of the Iceland players’ lives.

Óðinn gave an eye to acquire knowledge: #ISL will give more to acquire victory. #ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL #Euro2016 pic.twitter.com/GguOCovUjM

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

They were scared of what was to come: would Gylfi release his hound?

Gylfi Sigurdsson with his dog pic.twitter.com/VCzyXqbzmv

— Ftbllrs with Animals (@ftbllrswanimals) September 5, 2015

The wait was unbearable.

It is almost time.
Steel yourselves, friends.
Take a drink.
Offer a final prayer to Óðinn.
The battlefield awaits….#ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

After much nerve jangling, the whistle blew.

LET #BREXIT2 BEGIN. #ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

From the outset, we were battling more that just the English team: they got a bullshit penalty right off the bat.

The ref is an agent of darkness.
Step forth, Hannes. #ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

It slipped by Hannes. But we didn’t care.

#Hannes is descended from giants made of pure jagged basalt. #ICELANDFACTS #ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Within minutes: we were BACK IN IT!

A proper fucking goal, that. #ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

A beautiful goal from a flowing passing move.

So much for @alanshearer's early #ENG goal theory, amirite? #ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

England seemed… fragile. Too much Brexit? Too soon?

#ENG strategy; fall down a lot.#ISL strategy: #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE #SMITE

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

ICELAND STRUCK AGAIN! (At this point we may have gotten a bit excited.)

Fuck

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Couldn't commentate, was too busy jumping

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

BREXIT2 was well underway, and we just kept attacking…

It's hard to shoot sometimes when you are worried about destroying the arena by accident. #BIRKIR #MEGATONNES #ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

We edged closer to early-onset carpal tunnel from fast-tweeting.

If the crowd is the 12th man, does that make @rvkgrapevine the 13th Warrior? pic.twitter.com/DRZlucMsCR

— Steve Cartwright (@chompmancobra) June 27, 2016

Walker threw himself to the ground because Gylfi was near him.

Gýlfi is warming up his wing'd shooting boots. Gamesmanship from these spoilt prima donnas will not get to him. #ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL #ISL

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Half time! 2-1. Bring it home, boys (in this case, obviously: Valhalla).

The gold tooth’d god Heimdallr sounds the Gjallahorn, and the second half begins. #ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

There will be sagas written about Ragnar Sigurðsson’s attempted bicycle kick.

That overhead kick: a thing of beauty is a joy forever. #ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES #Euro2016 @alanshearer

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

We love the sound of smiting in the early-to-mid evening.

The Sound of Smiting pic.twitter.com/Dw9X2OG7Ga

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Vikings don’t know fear. But we appreciate a worthy opponent.

#Vardy the best #ENG player in the pitch. The enemy finally put a warrior on the field. #ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Iceland fans were winning the battle of the chants.

A nation the size of Dudley drowning out the English in the stands. #ICELANDSMITES #ENGISL #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

An England player narrowly evaded destruction.

#Gunnarsson the destroyer spared his life. He should get bonus points, not a yellow card. #ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Iceland weren’t just holding on. They were dominating.

#ISL so confident. The team spirit and commitment is a beautiful thing to see. #ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Shit got tense.

Ten minutes.
Ten.
Minutes.
#ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES #Euro2016 pic.twitter.com/GNZlQz8JRv

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

Iceland’s champion, Aron Gunnarsson, got through on goal and shot narrowly wide.

Oh my god. I'd give a kidney for a #Gunnarsson goal. #ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

It was a miracle we could form coherent Tweets at this point in the game.

Holy shit. Three minute to #Brexit2. #ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

And then. It happened.

England *really* don't like being Europe huh. #ICELANDHEROES #ICELANDSMITES #WEFUCKINGDIDIT

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

And the crowd went wild! Or, you know, in the case of Iceland, celebrated in a lively way while remaining respectful to their surroundings.

It's like New Year's Eve in Reykjavík right now: fireworks, street parties, families dancing in the town square… beautiful. #ISL #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 28, 2016

Hey @guardian our football players are quite tall you know. https://t.co/xe7Uvkfz1t

— ⟖ Sveinbjörn ⟕ (@sveinbjornp) June 27, 2016

Even fans of the millionaire man-boys conceded.

The best thing about our loss last night means @rvkgrapevine have another game to tweet about. Go forth you Nordic heroes #IcelandSmites

— Ben Thompson (@BThompson1993) June 28, 2016

Goliath had fallen.

England vs Iceland summed up in one short gif. Well done #ISL. Can I come live in your country? @rvkgrapevine pic.twitter.com/PPYQGcBTEf

— Victoria (@Vic_Bird) June 27, 2016

Lars: you’re a badass.

Smiters gonna smite. pic.twitter.com/G9MlN304dS

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 28, 2016

One quick analysis of Iceland’s success, written through tears.

This team is playing for the #ISL people, because they *are* the #ISL people. #ENGISL #ICELANDSMITES https://t.co/herw9rrUBv

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 28, 2016

Look at this. Just beautiful.

England supporters asked us for advice.

@HonestFrank Engum flýgur sofanda steikt gæs i munn.
Translation: There will fly no fried goose into the sleeping mans mouth.

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 28, 2016

The BBC liked our analysis…

"Media reacts to Iceland's shock win—the @RVKgrapevine provided the most insightful explanation." Thanks, @BBCsport!https://t.co/IaOpOTOUis

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 28, 2016

BUT NOW… WHAT’S NEXT?

FRANCE. ARE YOU READY?#ICELANDSMITES

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 27, 2016

We’re coming for you, France.

@rvkgrapevine France is sitting on a volcano pic.twitter.com/xukW9Mmvpm

— Fred Clerc (@FredSFFR) June 28, 2016

Also read: Match Preview: BREXIT2—The Smiting

Also Read: We Spoke To Iceland’s New President About His Experience At The #ENGISL Game

Also Read: What Was The Commentator Who Lost His Mind Actually Saying?

Also Read: Iceland’s Path To Certain Victory At Euro 2016

Also Read: In Depth—”Football On The Edge Of The World: Icelandic Football Comes Of Age”