Iceland’s Central Bank Moving To Tortola

At an emergency meeting held late last night between members of the Progressives and the Independence Party, a decision that had been in informal talks for weeks was made official: Iceland’s Central Bank will relocate to Tortola, in the British Virgin Islands.

“We need to stand together as a nation,” Minister of Finance Bjarni Benediktsson told reporters. “Current economic policies have meant some rules apply to some people, while different rules apply to others. It’s complicated to keep your money in Iceland. So we thought this would be the most rational course of action.”

The building where the Central Bank is currently located, in downtown Reykjavík, will be renovated and converted into a hotel.

Prime Minister Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson told reporters the move would be good for the Icelandic economy in the long run, delivering a brief Power Point presentation of how the new scheme will work.

“Basically, everyone will get their own holding company,” he told reporters. “This holding company, based in Tortola, will then be able to invest all over the world, with impunity, without having to worry about interference from meddling third parties, such as the tax office.”

The Directorate of Internal Revenue issued a statement criticising the move, pointing out that the government may find itself strapped for cash. Sigmundur dismissed these concerns.

“I find it hard to believe anyone will ever be short on money ever again,” he said with confidence. “If everyone’s got their own holding company in Tortola, all of this country’s financial problems will be solved forever.”