The Haul: Sugar Parent Wanted

Dear readers of The Reykjavík Grapevine! I am a hot, tall, 28-year-old trans woman(ish) in the prime of my life(ish). I have a blossoming(ish) comedy career. I am also broke as hell (no ish). It turns out art degrees don’t pay very well. I should know, I’ve got three.

Dear reader of The Reykjavík Grapevine, I need you. I need… a sugar parent!

1. The City of Reykjavík Culture Card — A culture card gets you into all the Reykjavík art museums, plus gives you a library card, plus a bunch of discounts. Mine is running out soon, and I could use a refill. Sugar parent, help me get cultured! — 8.400 ISK, available at most Reykjavík museums and libraries.

​​2. Hearts & Roses Luella Floral Dress — As a 197 cm tall lady, my options are extremely limited when it comes to dresses that make me feel pretty. Kjólar og konfekt makes high-quality stuff that also feels comfortable to wear. Also, look at how pink and floral it is!!! Sugar parent, please clothe me! — on sale right now from 8.495 ISK, normal price 16.990 ISK, available at Kjólar og konfekt, Laugavegur 92 or kjolar.is

3. Annual pass for Bíó Paradís —  Bíó Paradís is the best cinema in Iceland, and I’ve been eyeing this pass since I heard about it. I’m already a cultured artiste. Imagine how cultured I would be after a year of arthouse movies! Sugar parent, help me get the most cultured! — 39.990 ISK, available at Bíó Paradís, Hverfisgata 54 or bioparadis.is

4. Boho Filippo Scratch Tree 114 cm beige — I’ve got an incredibly cute eight-year-old tabby with expensive taste who loves cuddly places to rest. Whenever we bring her to the pet store, she finds the most expensive cat tree and tries to sleep in it. Sugar parent, make my baby happy! — 41.990 ISK, available at Gæludýr, multiple locations or Gæludýr.is

5. Nintendo Switch 2 + Pokémon Legends ZA — I am 28, but I never grew out of my Pokémon phase. I am so sorry. Sugar parent, keep me entertained! — 89.999 ISK, available at Ormsson, Lágmúli 8 or ormsson.is

6. Breast implants — Since starting hormones, my body and mind have started changing in ways that make me so euphoric. There is one part of me that hasn’t been keeping up, though. Sugar parent, give me boobies! — 825.000 ISK, available at Klínikin, Ármúli 9

7. Five-bedroom house on Langholtsvegur 6 — Like most young people today I have no idea if I will ever afford a house. That doesn’t mean you can’t buy me one! Sugar parent, please house me! — 159.500.000 ISK, available at fasteignaleitin.is

8. Flower arrangement for my wedding — Next year, I will be getting married to my flower-loving fiancé Joe (don’t worry, we are open!). I love my Joe, and you would like to get him flowers from Iceland’s gayest flower shop, Hæ blóm, for our wedding. Sugar parent, make me and Joe the happiest couple in Iceland! — Prices vary, but a 10.000 ISK bouquet should suffice, available at Hæ Blóm, Efstaland 26 or haeblom.is

Sindri “Sparkle” Freyr wear many hats as a comedian, writer, actor, and designer. Somehow, between the doom, gloom, shame, and chaos of online dating, they ended up becoming a writer too — with a book, The Mask: Grindr Poetry, now available at Nexus, Garg, Skálda, and Bókumbók.

Feeling confident your wallet can handle spoiling Sindri? Send your sugar parent applications over to Instagram at @sindrisparklefreyr.

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