Help? Call The Grapevine! Road Trips, Casinos, Baked Goods & More

Ira asks: Can exhaustion cause fever?

Seeking advice about the future? Problems with lovers? Just have something you need to get off your chest? Call The Grapevine.

Chuck asks: Is there a preferred direction to drive the Ring Road around Iceland, i.e., do more people drive it clockwise or counter-clockwise?

We’d love to have the statistics on that, but those don’t exist. It is sometimes said that the whole point of religion is delayed gratification. Suffer now, enjoy in the afterlife. And that is also how homo sapiens got into farming. But we digress. Given that the most famous sights are on the south coast, you’d see the best bits first if you drove anticlockwise. If you however are religious, and/or a farmer, you should be well versed in delaying gratification, and should drive the Ring Road accordingly.

Jason asks: How rigged are the Icelandic casinos?

They are rigged towards not existing in Iceland. Like trains, subways, good weather, skyscrapers, a decent housing market and contingency plans. If they existed, they’d of course be rigged in the same way our fishing quota system is, that is, benefiting the owners. Given our unfamiliarity with casinos, we ponder whether that isn’t the way all casinos are rigged. Are they? We are now asking you, Jason.

Evehul asks: How can I get Sandholt delivered directly to my face? I crave them every day.

You could have Sandholt croissants airdropped to you, one at a time. It would be expensive and wouldn’t be enough to keep you nourished, but it’d look cool. Not to mention the fact that otherwise they’d go stale on the way to wherever you live. We advise against airdropping whole sourdough loaves, as these might hurt your face when they land directly on it.

Mkfrankie5 asks: Best nowhere town in Iceland to buy a summer house?

We would recommend the town Reynisfjörður. Like many towns in Iceland, it is named after the fjord it stands in, Reynisfjörður. Look it up in Google Maps, and sure, you won’t find it. Look it up in Google Translate, and you’ll have better luck. We’re assuming that since it can’t be found on the map, Icelandic real estate prices haven’t caught up with it, so you should be able to get your nowhere summerhouse, in a nowhere town, for nowhere near the money you’d have to spend elsewhere, because — you guessed it — you’d be spending it nowhere.

Laura asks: Am I the only one who is surprised that someone has to tell people that walking on lava is dangerous?

Nope. We’re with you on that one. If only there were a kids’ game called, for instance, “the floor is lava,” which would make people aware of the danger of doing that, by way of play. But until that happens, we just hope those dumb lava hikers don’t die and win the Darwin award. Given that we are now having an eruption every three months or so, we suspect it is only a matter of time until someone will receive that award, posthumously of course.

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Bless Bless

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