Islamophobe Robert Spencer Claims Young Leftist Poisoned Him

Robert Spencer, who last week gave a lecture on the endless dangers of Islam, claims he was poisoned by “a young Icelandic Leftist.”

On the online right-wing political website FrontPage Magazine, Spencer wrote of an encounter he had with two men who claimed to be fans. One was polite, the other told him to go fuck himself. Spencer claims that he took that “marvelous Icelandic greeting” as a cue to leave. He, along with his security detail, promptly left for his hotel room and that’s when the sickness hit him.

“I began to feel numbness in my face, hands, and feet. I began trembling and vomiting. My heart was racing dangerously. I spent the night in a Reykjavik hospital,” he wrote.

As it so often is, it seems that it was the wolf in sheep’s clothing who was the culprit, as he believes it was the polite young leftist who had “dropped drugs” into his drink.

Culprit found

Ever the fan of the Icelandic crime scene and supporter of ambitious law enforcement, Spencer went to the police where he gave them “a bigger case than they have seen in good awhile.” He claims the police acted with some haste and located the suspected.

Spencer, ever the detective, was not content with letting the police drag their feet and found the young leftist in question through Facebook. Like so many young men who fall in love at Kaffibarinn every weekend, decided against adding the person on Facebook, and instead creeped his profile to get to know the person who had impacted his life so dearly.

Passionate about poison

Spencer is highly critical of Iceland, which he believes is controlled by a leftist cabal that hates conservatives and free speech. He is certain that the culprit is extremely pleased with himself and that champagne bottles will be popped across the country in celebration.”

“There is no doubt about it: I’m certain that whoever poisoned me in Iceland went away feeling happy over what he had done. If he told anyone what he did, I’m sure he was hailed as a hero. I’m also aware that many who read this will be thrilled at the fact that I became seriously ill. That in itself is a sign of how degenerate and evil the Left has become.”

“Identify the enemy. Devise ways to defeat him.”

We at the Grapevine don’t condone poisoning anyone, we were, for instance, highly critical of Vladimir Putin for spiking Alexander Litvinenko’s food with polonium-210. That being said, we can only assume that the alleged left winger was just following the mantra of FrontPage Magazine: “Identify the enemy. Devise ways to defeat him.”

The Grapevine sent a reporter to Spencer’s lecture and you can read our report in our next issue, which comes out Friday, May 19.