Missing In Iceland: Nail Salons

There are spas in Iceland where one can pay exorbitant amounts of money to get one’s nails painted, but those are not “nail salons.” No, not even close.

To women around the world, the term “nail salon” conjures up images of a clinically clean corner shop full of pastel leather massage chairs, old fashion magazines, sketchy Brazilian waxes, and more shades of red than Christian Grey could even imagine. Unfortunately, these walk-in paradises are nowhere to found on this acrylic-less Atlantic

“Long lunch break? Nail time. Post-brunch girl time? Pedicure party. Impromptu rendezvous? On the spot bikini wax banger, all for the price of two Icelandic beers.”

According to the New York Times, the average price of a manicure in New York City is $10.50 (1109 ISK). Add a pedicure to that and you’re looking at the delightful $20 (2112 ISK) mani-pedi deal women around the world so love. Icelandic people have no idea how much happiness such a store can bring. Long lunch break? Nail time. Post-brunch girl time? Pedicure party. Impromptu rendezvous? On the spot bikini wax banger, all for the price of two Icelandic beers. This is a fundamental part of any women’s life—all should know the embarrassment of unshaved legs during a sea salt scrub, or that moment where you think you just lost a portion of your labia to scorching honey wax. That is just feminism.

The Grapevine has no answer for why this international phenomenon has not yet hit Iceland. All we can say is that you’ll never see thick-chipping square-cut French talons in Reykjavík’s bars, but that just makes us sad. Life is too short to have naked nails. Life can’t be perfect, but your nails can be. They say you can’t buy happiness, but Essie has 357 shades of joy. There are left nails, right nails, but there are no wrong nails. Oval, square, rounded, stiletto, coffin—it’s all ballin’. Please, Iceland, Give us varnish, or we will give you carnage.