Eight Inside Tips to Surviving the Icelandic Winter

DARK ICELAND can be a total fucker to deal with, all Northern Lights and magical elves aside. So guess what: our man Ragnar put together a bit of a “listicle” to help y’all cope. Now, go forth and cope!

Try the secret menu at Bangkok

Ask for the “Thai Style” menu at Thai restaurant Bangkok in Kópavogur. Asian take-out in Iceland can be a pretty dismal affair, but it’s not entirely the fault of the restaurants—as Icelanders can’t seem to see past their love of soggy deep-fried shrimp with sweet-and-sour sauce. But if you know the magic word, they’ll serve you up some authentic heat that will whisk your tongue away from all of this darky dark dark bullshit.

Listen to reggae

Get that new Teitur Magnússon album. The album is called ‘27’ and its lead single’s called “Nenni,” a famously untranslatable word in Icelandic (which loosely refers to “being bothered to do something”). Many people in Iceland find it hard to “nenna” to do stuff in winter. It doesn’t hurt that Reykjavík has come to offer some of the finest herbal supplements in Europe, to supplement those Caribbean rhythms.

Get a goddamn car already

The Reykjavík public transport system is the worst in Europe, including that town in Turkmenistan where the mayor is a goat (we’re not knocking Turkmenistan here… Iceland’s mayor was a goat for much of the seventies). If you want to get out of the city and frolic in some of that untouched nature everyone keeps talking about, then you’ll need a nasty, polluting car to get there. Not to mention if you have kids or dogs, or wish to run a single errand in under three hours.

Go bowling in Egilshöll

Egilshöll in Grafarvogur has a bowling alley, a cinema and a skating rink. Three activities you can do without leaving the comfort of a warm building. And while you’re in Grafarvogur you can also…[…]…no that’s it.

Make art (any art)

Have you been meaning to a do a performance art piece of you mud-wrestling a Shia LaBeouf mannequin? Remember that dystopian short film you wanted to make about a country ravaged by darkness and mutated salmon? Now’s your chance.

Get it all out of your system and feel that warm inner glow that comes from creating something that wasn’t there before.

Go buy some useless junk already

The January sales are mostly over, but many of extend them into February. These are the slowest months for small businessfolks and here’s your chance to take advantage of their misery. Buy that giant Pharrell hat or that Bane mask you’ve been hankering for, sure you’ll look ridiculous but non-ridiculousness is way overrated anyway. Treat yo’self.

Have sex with fat people

Hear me out. We both know you haven’t been getting anywhere lately (probably because you look like a half-melted action figure) so maybe it’s time to start punching outside of your weight class. Iceland is one of the fattest nations in Europe, so you should have no trouble finding a subject for your affections. Let my fat brothers and sisters warm you up during the cold winter months and lose yourself in a sea of folds.

Attend Sónar Reykjavík!

Why be shivering in the darkness when you can spend a weekend bathed in lasers, sweating to tribal beats, with access to every variety of electronic music and (and this is the best part) without having to leave the comfort of the Harpa music hall. Getting tired of the tech-house?  Nip over to the next room for a refreshing dose of house-tech, without so much as getting your shoes wet.