Meet The Smiters: Jón Daði “The Scythe of Selfoss” Böðvarsson

Jón Daði “The Scythe of Selfoss” Böðvarsson is so big that his hometown considers him a landmark as well as a citizen. Born in 1992, Jón Daði was 5“11 by the age of eight and was deemed to be so imposing that he was made captain of every age group of his local youth team. After one infamous Dads vs. Lads pre-season unfriendly for the under-12s, Jón Daði slammed in a perfect triple hat-trick, nutmegging the keeper so savagely for his ninth that his victim abandoned his duties as a father and became a recluse.

When emasculating his elders became a bore, Jón Daði turned pro, slamming in
17 goals in 65 league games for the Selfoss seniors, before moving on to Norway in 2013 with Viking FK. His exploits at his spiritual home were too good to be ignored, and after a brief spell in Germany with Kaiserslautern, the original smitees—England—came-a-calling.

“Even crackpot manager Jaap Stam quivered at the very sight of him.”

Armed in amber, he became a fan favourite at Wolverhampton Wanderers, but was ousted after just one season during dodgy Jorge Mendes’ Midlands makeover. So angry was Jón Daði about the situation that when he signed for Reading, even crackpot manager Jaap Stam quivered at the very sight of him, promising to start “The Headless Norseman” in every game possible. Big bald Jaap‘s God-fearing was repaid—the Icelander scored ten goals in 30 appearances in all competitions this season.

This summer, our boy will be desperate for his goalscoring form at club level to translate to the international scene, where he has suffered something of a drought since his opener against Austria at Euro 2016. At the Grapevine, however, we have no doubt that in Russia, Jón will become the Daði once-and-for-all.

Age: 25
Hometown: Selfoss
Club: Reading
Position: Winger/Forward
Special Skills: Good feet for a big man; yet to lose a header in his entire career; marauding with malice.
Nicknames: The Scythe of Selfoss, The Headless Norseman, The Master Emasculator, The Daði

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