Meet The Smiters: Alfreð “Arctic Fox In The Box” Finnbogason

Alfreð Finnbogason is strákarnir okkar’s “Arctic Fox in the Box,” whose cunning spearheads Heimir Hallgrímsson’s side. Alfreð is always lurking in the danger zone, and pounced three times in eight qualification games, a scoring record only bested by talisman Gylfi Sigurðsson. Feared and revered at his Bavaria-based club, FC Augsburg, terrace folklore has it that for every second one’s gaze meets Alfreð’s, one suffers a thousand-years-worth of pain and suffering.

“For every second one’s gaze meets Alfreð’s, one suffers a thousand-years-worth of pain and suffering.”

For this very reason, few goalkeepers have managed to stop Alfreð’s flaming right boot from netting against them. In 2014, however, after his capture and imprisonment by David Moyes at Real Sociedad, Alfreð’s powers became weakened and he was eventually exiled to Olympiacos, playing in the footballing Underworld that is the Greek top division.

When he broke free of the league of lost souls in 2016, he rose from the ashes and his performances in an initial loan move to FC Augsburg earned him a permanent deal. Since then, ‘The Punisher’ has never looked back, rediscovering some of the form that saw him degrade opposition at Dutch Eredivisie club, Heerenveen.

In this summer’s World Cup, Alfreð will surely sate his appetite for continental prey in match-ups with the deficient Dejan Lovren, the error-strewn Nicolas Otamendi and whoever plays in defence for Nigeria. Nations of the globe beware, because ‘The Grindavík Garmr’ is coming for you.

Name: Alfreð Finnbogason
Age: 28
Hometown: Grindavík
Club: Augsburg
Position: Striker
Special Skills: Predatory poaching, Dehumanising Dinks, Neutering Nutmegs.
Nicknames: “The Arctic Fox in the Box,” “The Punisher,” “The Grindavík Garmr”

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