Some Iceland Things That Scare Americans

Letters that don’t look like our letters

Maybe ‘ð’ and ‘þ’ both make sounds we can easily pronounce, but those symbols still look weird and alien, almost Lovecraftian. And make us uncomfortable. Like public nudity.

The lack of Fritos

Doritos are a poor substitute and you know it, Iceland. I want my corn chips and I want them slightly curled. Also, am I really complaining about this? Wow, being American sure is, uh, something.

European fashion

How do you dance in those black super thick-soled heel things? This is a serious question. I have a pair and I fell once.

Card readers, apparently?

Some customer at my workplace: “I don’t understand you people or your card machines.” Sorry, Californian. This is one of those situations where ‘you people’ doesn’t cut it. Just stick the damn thing in and be done with it already. Some people have work in the morning.

Accessible healthcare

Meep.

Ghosts

Though, those are almost always scary.