Gods Of Iceland: Freyr, The Lovesick Golden Boy

Superpowers: Fertility, magic sword, glowing boar
Weaknesses: Glowing giant girls
Modern Analogue: Your weepy softboy ex-boyfriend

Freyr was a very popular god back in the day, and not for nothing. He was a god of fertility, both amongst human beings and other living things, and was reportedly a pretty good looking guy. He also had some cool accessories, such as Skíðblaðnir, a sword that you only needed to hold in your hand and would do the fighting for you, and a pet boar named Gullinbursti, which had a glow-in-the-dark mane.

Freyr had it all, it would seem, and he probably thought he was hot stuff — that is, until one day he snuck on to Óðinn’s throne and changed his life forever. You see, from Óðinn’s throne, one could view the entire world at once. But the only thing that caught Freyr’s eye was Gerður, the daughter of a troll and a giant, who was reportedly so
gorgeous that she radiated a light that could be seen all over the world. Small wonder then that Freyr was immediately sprung at the sight of her. However, giants and gods were bitter enemies in those days, so Freyr was convinced they would never be.

As such, he sank into a deep depression, locking himself in his room, crying a lot, listening to Elliott Smith and My Chemical Romance, and feeling sorry for himself instead of, you know, just approaching her and asking her out. Unfortunately, being a fertility god, his little pity party was causing plants and animals to whither and die, and his friends got pretty concerned. Unable to take it any longer, Freyr worked out a deal with the giants: let me shoot my shot with Gerður, and you can have my magic sword. The giants thought this was a pretty sweet deal, and accepted.

Freyr and Gerður would have a happy relationship together, and all it cost was a magic sword, the loss of which would come back to bite Freyr at the end of the world. But that’s another story.

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