Gods of Iceland: Freyja, A Non-Monogamous Icon

Strengths: fashion icon (owns a falcon-feather cloak and a fancy necklace, and is so committed to her aesthetic that she even cries rose-gold tears), can tell the future
Weaknesses: she’s a cat person (source: she travels in a chariot pulled by two cats)
Modern Analogy: Gen Z, has an OnlyFans, plays Animal Crossing

Freyja, undeniably one of the most iconic Norse deities, is best known as the goddess of love, fertility, sex, and war. However, she also practises a type of magic called seidr, and her prophetic abilities also grant her membership to the Vanir (basically, an elite club where health-conscious oracles hang out and drink sacred mead). Freyja can also be found ruling over Fólkvangr, a meadow in the after-life where you might end up if you die in combat (the other option being Óðinn’s Valhalla). You get the picture: she’s a goddess doing goddess things.

Freyja is also—and I say this with the utmost respect—a super slut. She’s technically married to Óðr, but they’re kind of in a long-distance relationship so she never sees him. Loki once publicly called her out for sleeping with, in his words, every god including her own brother. Njörðr’s (Freyja’s dad!) totally appropriate response was just “lol shut the fuck up and stop trying to cancel my daughter—she can do what she wants you perv!” But Loki’s obsession with Freyja’s sex life doesn’t end there. She once fucked four dwarves in exchange for a particularly beautiful necklace (dare I say, iconic) only to have Loki rat her out to Óðinn who promptly confiscated the necklace on the basis of how it was obtained. (Careful king, your misogyny is showing).

Despite her non-monogamous habits, Freyja really is in deep with Óðr. He is the source of her red-gold tears, and she can often be found searching for him under a variety of pseudonyms and alternate identities. It’s sort of like Óðr blocked her on everything but she keeps making new accounts to talk to him. Despite Óðr living in her head rent free, Freyja is a busy woman. Practicing seidr is no easy task, and comes with a great amount of power. She’s arguably one of the most powerful gods, if not the most powerful, and yet some say that Freyja even manages to find the time to spend Christmas night shaking apples trees to ensure a good harvest. After all, every goddess has her wholesome side.

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