Three Charged In Burning Of The IKEA Christmas Goat

Three people, a man and two women, have been fined 150 thousand króna for burning down the IKEA Christmas Goat last year, reports RÚV. And yes, there exists in this world something called the IKEA Christmas Goat.

The odd crime took place on November 14. Probably after taking a nap on the weirdly underrated Flekke sofa-bed, which has handy shelves underneath, IKEA’s official goat herder noticed the flames.

He watched in horror through security cameras as the fire took hold and roasted the goat’s tender wooden flesh. Spotting the animal abusers, he gave pursuit while alerting authorities. Police eventually caught up with the perpetrators a couple of kilometres from the blue warehouse.

Proud pyromancer

After being caught, the man, reeking of alcohol and stinking of gasoline, confessed to the goat burning immediately and claimed he was proud of his fiery handy work. He stated that he was doing the internationally known Swedish furniture giant a massive favour by providing them with free exposure. Something that would burn into people’s memories (get it?).

The women, however, maintained their innocence throughout what we can only assume were strenuous interrogations. One of them said she had blacked out that night and didn’t remember what had transpired, but she admitted to having bought a can of gasoline—for what purpose? She couldn’t say.

The other, the sober one in the group, had driven the getaway car, but claimed that she had not known what the drunken duo wanted to do with a can of gasoline and a gigantic Christmas goat.

How much is a goat worth?

The court, however, did not make the trio pay IKEA any damages, as it turned out that nobody knows how much a ten meter high Christmas Goat actually costs. So there is a lesson for you kids. If you want to turn to arson than just make sure you burn things that nobody knows what are worth.

It should be added that the act of arson is in fact a copycat crime, as over the last 50 years, the IKEA Christmas Goat in Sweden has been burnt down 35 times.