Icelandic Facebook Groups: The Drug Groups

DISCLAIMER: Drugs are illegal in Iceland and also stupid. That said…

Let’s say you’re an aspiring drug dealer with no friends—how do you move your shit? How do you get a collection of loyal customers? How do you grind and hustle and make that dough? Enter Iceland’s drug groups.

Yes, that’s right. There are popular groups on Facebook in Iceland, (yup, multiple), where people move products. No need for the Silk Road or sketchy forums, just a totally corporate website being used in the most human way. The groups work pretty simply: people post sales ads with a lot of exclamation points and crazy names, (i.e. “!!!*DOPE MANGO KU$$$H*!!!,” or “POP-POP-POPPIN’ & AINT NO STOPPIN’ BERLIN QUALITY SHIIIT”), a picture, and their phone number. Most, if not all, of the posters are fake accounts with bizarre names and pictures. I mean, you won’t see a Jón Jónsson or a Helga Guðmundsdóttir using their personal profiles for this. That’d be risky and stupid. Currently, the ads are mostly for weed, cocaine, speed, MDMA, benzos, and occasionally acid. There also seems to be a rising market for opioids, (which is worrying).

“No need for the Silk Road or sketchy forums, just a totally corporate website being used in the most human way.”

On the whole, the prices in these groups are on par for Iceland. We won’t say those prices, because most drug dealers here make a lot selling to tourists, and we don’t want to ruin that. That said, if you’re a tourist and end up paying 10,000 ISK for a gram of weed, you’re being mega-swindled.

In order to get added to these groups, you do need to know someone in them, and we assume the moderators look at your account to make sure you aren’t obviously a cop or something. There are probably cops in these groups though. We really have no idea, because we at the Grapevine all work as journalists, which is time-consuming and leaves no time to move bricks.

So yes, that’s our Facebook group of the issue. Please, PLEASE don’t e-mail us asking for the names of these groups. We at the Grapevine ain’t no snitches. Find another narc or just get sketchier friends.