Don’t Ask Nanna: About EVE Fanfest

NaNnA!

I’m coming to Iceland for EVE Fanfest but my girlfriend says she wants us to Skype like every night while I’m away and keeps making remarks like she doesn’t get why I’m so excited to meet people I only know through the internet. I don’t want her to be lonely and want her to be happy but I also reeeeally wanna hang out with my friends.

Acid Burn

AcId BuRn,

It’s very important to sacrifice all the things you want in your life for the sake of your significant other. After all, you’re nobody unless somebody loves you and what manifestation of love is more real and everlasting than cowering to the whims and moods of the person who lets you have sex with them? I suggest you stop speaking to everyone you know and love that isn’t your girlfriend. Make her your entire universe. She’s all that matters now.

Sideline your needs, fast track your happiness.

Nanna

@NannaArnadottir how about you go worry about being a parent bitch & lose some weight

— deondre (@deopasquini_) April 8, 2016

I know, I know, my unrelenting habit of having a job and female genitalia at the same time is ridiculously selfish, I can’t believe that I victimise my own child in this way. SOMEONE CUFF ME ALREADY!

And that I continue to subject the world to my body – it’s incredulous. We all know what I should really be doing is self-hating myself into the seXXXy body of YOUR dreams.

Your advice has been invaluable, thank you for taking time to think about my well being!

Nanna A.K.A Fat Bitch Mom

Hey Nanna,

So what if Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson runs for president again? He really doesn’t seem so bad.

Not So Bad

Hey Not So Bad,

You wanna repeat that for us one more time?

Nanna