Match Preview: THE SACKING OF PARIS—Iceland vs. France

And so, the next day of destiny in Iceland’s #EuroSaga approaches. After the giant-slaying of England, it’s time for a real blockbuster: a huge, historic showdown with the hosts at the Stade de France in Paris.

We at Grapevine have a wide range of people working in our sports analytics department, and for this historic fixture, we decided to really pull the stops out. Our crack team has been working day and night to bring you the most cutting edge information to help form a well-rounded and balanced prediction on how the game might go.

First, let’s start with the omens.

An Icelandic torrent pours from thin air in the royal château of Versaille.

OMEN: #ISL waterfall appears, pouring from thin air, in the royal château of Versaille.
By @olafureliasson.#FRAISL pic.twitter.com/sLP2NkM3S8

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 30, 2016

Omens were everywhere.

#FRAISL pic.twitter.com/cTKB3rstwI

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

We asked people to keep their eyes open for them.

@rvkgrapevine Found a stack of Magic: the Gathering cards behind some books, this one was on top! #ICELANDSMITES pic.twitter.com/lDpLXmVv37

— Marius Hollenga (@MariusHollenga) July 2, 2016

A very good omen! Our shirts arrived in time for the game!

#ICELANDSMITES SHIRTS ARE HERE! Send us a selfie of yours 🙂 #ISL #EURO2016 #EMísland
Order: https://t.co/hX9CLgT1Xw pic.twitter.com/PrxgtKit59

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 1, 2016

Next, let’s look at our definitive polling data.

When #ISL smite #FRA in the #FRAISL #FREXIT tomorrow at #Euro2016, they will be reduced to:

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

Next, we forecast the gods’ will: as everyone knows, when Þór strikes his anvil, that’s when we get lightning. He started in NYC.

Last night's storm was ⚡️⚡️⚡️ https://t.co/XkSAjY6MxM pic.twitter.com/6DDfsgFu5t

— New York Post (@nypost) July 2, 2016

Before moving over the Atlantic. Good stuff.

OMEN: Þór warms his anvil over #FRA. https://t.co/YjPT16JGkv

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

And of course, we had our ear to the ground for rumours.

RUMOUR: #FRA government call in ice-breaker ships as the Seine starts to inexplicably freeze over.#FRAISL #ISL #EuroSaga #ICELANDSMITES

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

Along the banks of the Seine, reports of horn'd warriors in quick longships heading for Paris. People quietly bolt their doors. #ISL #FRAISL

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

Rumour: #FRA government working with @UEFA on an ark in case of a great flood of #RonaldoTears. #POLPOR #Euro2016

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) June 30, 2016

The true meaning of possession play was revealed.

It was close in #WALBEL, with #BEL 52% possessed. #Bale looks more than 48% possessed here though, ay? #Euro2016 pic.twitter.com/BD2KbBIrCE

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

Iceland's resistance to possession by spirits, gods or daemons has been key in their #Euro2016 run so far. pic.twitter.com/c41TtknBgQ

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

And we took a look inside The France setup…

"Mondieu!" says Lloris. "It's chilly today."
"Oui," replies Kanté. "Ice cold."
"Strange," says Lloris.
They sit in awkward silence.#FRAISL

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

@rvkgrapevine Dimitri Payet sits in the changing room.
Outside, a geyser erupts.
"It's fine", he murmers.
He trembles as he laces his boots.

— Daniel Bell (@DanielDavidBell) July 2, 2016

@rvkgrapevine Giroud admiring himself in the mirror.
The glass begins to frost.
'It is nothing' he insists.
Yet his heart pounds. #ISL

— Andrew Swindell (@swindell15) July 2, 2016

Pogba getting hair cut. Barber notices strange frosty white hairs. Flummoxed, Pogba stares out the window. What does it mean? @rvkgrapevine

— Zwë (@ZwebackHD) July 2, 2016

#FRA is cold today.
Deschamps sneezes in a stairwell.
The echo bounces back:
"HOOH!"
"Hooh!"
"hooh!"
A shudder runs down his spine.#FRAISL

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

Here at home, Iceland’s artists have been killin’ it almost as much as the team.

#EURO2016 #football #Iceland #ICELANDSMITES cartoon for @raymondlehti pic.twitter.com/hx1qXBDzz4

— hugleikur dagsson (@hugleikur) July 1, 2016

And finally, just something to bear in mind…

@rvkgrapevine Hope you don't mind… pic.twitter.com/Aedci9rsEl

— Mike Kopack (@MKopack) July 2, 2016

And so, drum roll please, our predictions:

.@astridsofficial FEAR NOT, WE WILL SMITE THEM WITH THE FURY OF EYJAFJALLAJÖKULL. WE HAVE HAD POWERFUL VISIONS OF A GOAL OF FIRE. #ISL

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

.@BBCSport ICELAND WILL SMITE FRANCE INTO AN UPWARDS RAIN OF WEIRD FOG THAT THEN EVAPORATES AS IT REACHES THE ATMOSPHERE & PASSES INTO SPACE

— Reykjavík Grapevine (@rvkgrapevine) July 2, 2016

Onwards!

Also Read: Match Review: Let England Shake—2-1 To Iceland

Also Read: We Spoke To Iceland’s New President About His Experience At The #ENGISL Game

Also Read: What Was The Commentator Who Lost His Mind Actually Saying?

Also Read: Iceland’s Path To Certain Victory At Euro 2016

Also Read: In Depth—”Football On The Edge Of The World: Icelandic Football Comes Of Age”

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