Don’t Ask Nanna: About Sex Stuff

Hey Nanna,

What’s the best available lube in Iceland?

Slip’n’Slide

Hey Slip’n’Slide (ew),

The best available lube in Iceland is the tears of sex-negative misogynists.

But in a pinch I recommend Tastes Of Iceland, an all natural, organic artisanal sea themed lubricant made primarily of cod liver oil.

Best,

Nanna (note to self: create and market cod liver oil as authentic Icelandic lubricant, put northern lights on label, use helvetica font, become zillionaire).

Hi Nanna,

My flatmate is an exchange student from the US and she’s not what you’d call ‘comfortable’ with nudity. I don’t have these kinds of hangups and I don’t think it’s a big deal to walk around the flat in my knickers. She says she’d prefer if I didn’t but I want to prove to her that it’s okay to be comfortable in your own body. How do I help her get over her issues and love herself.

Selflove

Hey Selflove,

How selfless of you, to walk around in your underwear in this shared home space in order to condition your friend into feeling more comfortable with nudity. I bet your efforts haven’t made her feel awkward at all.

Clearly it’s on you to help her overcome her prudish hangups. Sure she hasn’t asked you to and acts like she’d actually prefer to be clothed but why let that stop you from showing her that her modesty is a symptom of oppression.

She doesn’t know what she wants so it’s important that you help her realise that ultimately not minding being naked in front of your roommate is the only healthy way to express self love and body acceptance.

Nanna

Nanna,

My boyfriend says he’s not going to have sex with me until I agree to watch The Big Lebowski. I tried watching it a million years ago and gave up. It just has no appeal for me and now that he’s really pressing this issue I’ve dug me heels in so to speak and now I DEFINITELY don’t want to watch it.

A-Matter-of-Principles

Dear A-Matter-of-Principles,

OK…

I’m sorry, but what the hell is happening here? Is this something people are doing now? Using sex as a weapon to force their partners into watching 90’s cult cinema?

And what I find most striking is that you are both punishing yourselves. By withholding sex from one another and by not spending a pleasant evening watching The Big Lebowski.

You’re both horrible, horrible people. The future is doomed. That is all.

Nanna